Members Mark P Posted April 28, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2021 Mom was hiding her cancer until she couldn't anymore. I should have known. We were all we had. We lived for one and other. It's a year now and it's still very difficult. Mom went into the hospital on Holy Saturday 2020. The apex of the pandemic. I wasn't able to be with her. She died the following Wednesday. All alone. I fully realize it was beyond my control but I feel so guilty and have such regret. The last time I saw Mom alive was her being wheeled into the hospital , in a chair, in distress. She was telling me not to worry as she being made to wear a mask which made it difficultfor her to breath. It w as s the most helpless feeling I've ever ecperienced.. I've been alone for a year. Lost a job. Nothing interests me anymore. Nobody to talk with. It's horrible. I miss Mom so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T.F. Posted April 28, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2021 HI Mark, It is clear that you loved your mom deeply. If you had known about her illness, you would have taken steps sooner to help her. That she chose to keep her illness hidden from you is something which sounds like you have taken on as a heavy burden that you have been carrying. Hopefully you will be able to let go of your guilt for this, and for the burden that Covid brought to her last days. My Mom died in May 2020, and coming up on the one year mark, I too have been in a limbo for the past year, which has taken me completely by surprise, where my Mom's death has affected me far more deeply than that of my Dad many years ago. Her death during Covid also came with its own set of tragic circumstances that have made me feel guilt and regret. I have suffered with a very unexpected lack of motivation, where my work life has been affected. I am hopeful though that somehow this upcoming one year mark will feel like the start of a new chapter, after having grieved the loss on my mom throughout all of the seasons. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope for your healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mark P Posted April 29, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Thank you so much. You hit the nail right on the head. Same thing with us. We lost Dad thirty years ago to brain cancer, Mom was lung. It wasnt nearly as difficult when Dad died. We had each other, more family and friends, able to have a proper funeral, NO COVID. So different. Your kind words and understanding are truly appreciated and duly noted. Thank you and all the best to you. I'm very sorry for the loss of your dear Mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ComfortingFriend Posted April 29, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Hello Mark, I truly feel for you, during this one year anniversary of your dear Mom’s death. There is nothing harder in this world than losing a parent who was so close to you, that it was your entire existence. There is not much more I can add here to T.F.’s excellent post, but I am here, if you would like a friend to talk to. I have sent you a P.M. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. May God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mark P Posted April 29, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Thank you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mark P Posted April 29, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 I cant seem to find your PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ComfortingFriend Posted April 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 Hi Mark, Thank you, my friend. Top strip of the web page, click on the “envelope” icon. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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