Members Pokie Posted April 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2021 I recently lost my mother to brain cancer in January. Her health went down hill after my father died in 2018. I was their primary caregiver all my life. When my father passed I felt all the grief in the world as he was very close to me. With my mother I felt numb throughout the whole thing. I put on a strong face and took care of everything. Just a few weeks ago all the pain and grief hit me. I just pushed it aside and told me that this is life and they are together again which is all they wanted. The pain has subsided but now I dream every night. I see them both and they tell me to come join them. I know this is my mind and not actually real. I am worried since my employer has requirements that I keep it all together. I manage a data center for several major health systems in the US as well as government projects. My question is how do people deal with this kind of grief when its not advised to go to a doctor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted April 23, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 23, 2021 Dear Pokie, I am very sorry for your losses. My deepest sympathies and condolences. It's very important to have support and be able to talk to people. Many employers are supporting mental health. I'm a private person and don't feel the need to share too much at work but that shouldn't stop you from seeking support outside of work. Talk to your own doctor and see what is available. I also found this website and forum helpful for adult children who were caregivers to their parents. There is so much information and support at Aging Care. And I know Grief in Common is also offering online Zoom sessions for parental loss and grief. There is help and there is no shame in seeking it out despite what your employer wants. Please don't let that deter you. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monty Posted April 25, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2021 Hi Pokie, I am so sorry for your losses. The loss of the second parent hits really hard (at least in my case anyway). When my Mum passed suddenly my main focus was my Dad and trying to help him navigate his way through his grief. Now he is gone too I am lost. As Reader said, it is important to reach out and talk about how you are feeling. Reach out to trusted friends and family, continue to come onto places like this or seek professional help outside of work. Please know that you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members imissmydad55 Posted April 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2021 Thats heavy stuff. Positivity to you and I hope you find peace soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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