Members Healing2021 Posted April 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2021 It’s been a little over a month since I lost my dad. My anxiety is through the roof, over things I’ve never been anxious about. Thinking about the human body and just how fragile it is. This is crazy. People ask me how I am and some have even said “it’s been a little over a month now”, then when I reply they don’t reply. Do they expect me to say I’m ok? I think a lot of people are afraid of emotions if they don’t fall in the happy category. But I’m not going to pretend. I’ve advocated for mental health my entire life. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve learned healthy coping skills. Sometimes it’s just hard to remember during these times. Im hanging in and I’ll continue to do so, sometimes I just feel stuck. Thinking about money and how to keep up. Thinking about my future while I have a teenager to care for. It’s so weird because years and years ago my father and I didn’t have a great relationship and I had planned this whole life of taking care of my brother alone. Then my dad and I became closer, I mean we’ve always been close. I’ve always been his little girl, but things got hard at one point in the midst of both of us dealing with adult things. But when we became best friends this last year, I could really imagine myself in this life. Even at 28 years old I could see myself raising my brother with my dad, seeing him off to college. Now I’m doing it alone. I thought today that maybe that’s why I have so much anxiety. I mean definitely from childhood and having to make decisions too soon when my mom passed, which creates a disconnect when you become an adult. But also because now the decisions are just mine to make. That’s scary. But I’ve always made these decisions. I just miss having him by my side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted April 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 Dear Healing, (((hugs))) I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. I know I was so raw after losing my dad. The first year is the hardest. My feelings went from sad to angry and back again. Everything is right at the surface. Please don't be hard on yourself. Be as kind and as gentle as you can during this difficult time. I hope you'll seek out additional supports in the community or through church. Please know we are here with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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