My mom taught me everything except how to live without her

[Shelleen]

I lost my mom 3 months ago.  She was my very best friend.  I was her caregiver while she lived with me for 2 & 1/2 years before she passed from cancer.  I don't know who I am anymore.  I don't have a "normal" to go back to as everyone else in my life seems to be able to do.  I am so lost.  I miss my mom every minute of every single day.  I would so appreciate hearing from anyone in a similar situation.

[reader]

Dear Shelleen,

I am sorry for your loss. It is devastating losing a parent after a long battle with cancer. Feeling lost is normal. 

I was my dad's primary caregiver. I found some additional supports at these websites:

Aging Care

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

https://www.agingcare.com/Discussions/life-after-caregiving-188142.htm

Thinking of you.

 

[BEQUET93]

I lost my mom, on November 2nd. It was only five weeks, after she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She had lived with me, since 2014. I know how difficult it can be. You not only lost a parent, but a friend and companion. I remember feeling empty, after no longer being needed as a caregiver. It was kinda like, "What am I supposed to do now?" 

What I can tell you is that it can get better, but it will take some work and patience. If you aren't already, please consider talking to a therapist or grief counselor. Just expressing your feelings and getting them out can be a big help. One important thing I have learned is that, even though my mother is physically gone, I can still have a connection with her. I talk to her and have what I guess amounts to a small shrine dedicated to her. 

You've experienced a major loss, which means big changes. Your loss is recent and it will take plenty of time for you to process it and come to terms with it. Everyone is different and my own experience is no measuring stick for anyone else, but I can say it will get better. Before my mother died, I was so sad and afraid of witnessing her death and being without her that I had thoughts of getting into the med box and overdosing. Five months later, I still feel her absence, but I am feeling that I am improving and that I will be able to move forward with my own life. Be patient with yourself and I wish you the best

[AllisonD94]

I was in the same situation as you, I was my mom's caregiver until she passed last month and now life is so weird. I don't know how to live without her. I don't know how to go to the store, without calling her to tell her about whatever I find because she was bedridden and couldn't go with me. It's so hard, going to the store and knowing I just can't.....call my mom. I wish I could give you advice, but I know exactly how you feel. When you love your mom so much, you would do absolutely anything in the world for her, and when she passes, you don't know how to cope. You don't know how to "move on"/grief because how can you imagine life without her? When your entire world was taking care of her 24/7, it's so so hard. I am so sorry for your loss. 

[Félicia M.]

On 4/15/2021 at 4:41 AM, Shelleen said:

I lost my mom 3 months ago.  She was my very best friend.  I was her caregiver while she lived with me for 2 & 1/2 years before she passed from cancer.  I don't know who I am anymore.  I don't have a "normal" to go back to as everyone else in my life seems to be able to do.  I am so lost.  I miss my mom every minute of every single day.  I would so appreciate hearing from anyone in a similar situation.

I do know how you feel. I lost my mum at the beginning of April. I feel so lost too. I just tell myself that Mum would not like to see me so sad. She wanted me to be enjoying life. I don't know what to do to feel better. I wish you the best in this difficult time.