My mother died and I feel dead inside.

[ChrisZA]

After my mother died on the 27th of March 2021(her 50th marriage anniversary with my father) I haven't been able to cry. I feel nothing. No sadness. No joy. Songs that would make me cry have no effect on me now. Even when I am drunk. I feel empty. I literally have no emotions. Is this normal? I feel guilty because the rest of my family are taking it horribly. What is more, I have been caring for my mother the last 3 years pretty much on my own. The night before her death I was there. I never slept. I watched her the whole time. I held her hand. I read out of the Bible. I talked to her even though she couldn't respond. She could only look at me before she became completely unresponsive and finally passed away. And I feel so hollow. Why? 

 

[reader]

Dear Chris,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We all react differently to grief. Being your mom's main caregiver for the last three years maybe part of you was already preparing for this day. I remember when my grandmother passed away and my sister said why didn't you cry? My father has passed the previous year and I cried an ocean of tears. I had nothing left.

If you want to and when you're ready consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. What you are feeling is normal and there are others who experience the same thing. 

I hope these articles help:

https://whatsyourgrief.com/feeling-nothing-during-grief/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-mourning-after/201906/numbed-out-when-feelings-freeze-after-bereavement

Thinking of you.

[imissmydad55]

Hey buddy.

You're good and you're going to be good.

I lost my dad on February 23rd. Leading up to his death I had no problem crying.

I too became hollow after he died. It's normal, people grieve differently. Plus a month is really fresh still.

Give yourself time, it'll come soon. I cry now, not like before, but its something. Take good care brother.