Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

I Lost my Girlfriend for 10 yeara last March 26 due to covid.


Recommended Posts

  • Members

My girlfriend died last March 26 2021 due to covid 19 complications. I'm still in shock and can't accept the fact that she already joined our dear creator in heaven. Now i feel alone in this world of uncenrtainty and cannot sleep at night because i always miss her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Wow, I am so sorry!  Your loss is very fresh, you're likely still in shock and grief fog, it's the hardest thing in the world to wrap your head around!  My husband died just after his 51st birthday, suddenly/unexpectedly, nearly 16 years ago on Father's Day.  I didn't see how I could live w/o him for a week, but here I am.  You have found a good place to come to, where others "get it," and it helps to express yourself, and know you're heard so I invite you to vent, ask questions, just state what's on your heart.  The people here are great and we all want to be here for you and everyone going through this.  :wub:
COVID-19 and Grief
Covid in grief

COVID-19 Grief Guide

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.


There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

  • Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
  • Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
  • Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
  • Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
  • Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
  • Try not to isolate too much.  
  • There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
  • Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
  • Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
  • In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
  • Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
  • Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
  • Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
  • Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
  • Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
  • Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
  • Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members


I am so very sorry for your loss. Covid has been a terrible plague the world round. I pray that the vaccinations will bring this nightmare to an end soon, so no more people suffer the loss of their loved ones to this virus. 

You are so early in your grief, it is so hard to believe that this impossible thing has occurred.  Take one day at a time,  try to take care of yourself by eating, getting some rest even though it is difficult to sleep. Accept help from friends or family, sadly these offers will become more rare in the future. 

I am so very sorry that you have reason to join us on this grief journey that none of us want to travel.  We will offer what comfort we can, as we understand what a life shattering experience this is. Our lives have been shattered too.  


Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello Mingi15,

I am so sorry that this has happened to your girlfriend and you.  I imagine that your heart feels like it is breaking, and the facts of what happened seem surreal.  All the above suggestions about health and caring for your self are right.

How very sad that you and your beloved are separated physically.  I am sure you will carry her in your heart forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.