Looking for ideas that have worked for others who have lost their mom

[TammyA]

My mom died the end of January.  She was battling cancer and her kidneys stopped functioning before cancer could kill her and she died very suddenly. We loved each other but didn't really "get" each other. She and my sister were much closer. There were things I wanted to say but didn't before she died. Things that might have hurt her so there was no point in doing that given some things can't be unsaid & you can't change the past. I knew I'd have grief / anger issues but wow - I never expected it to be like this.  I'm not sleeping without taking Advil PM, I feel so apathetic and unmotivated, I can't focus and find myself wanting to call and tell her something every day which is really weird given we only spoke once a week when she was alive.  I'm the CEO of my company and am normally a happy, high energy, optimistic dynamo.  I need to get back to "me" for both me & my company.  I'm looking for advice and ideas on how to get back on track from those who have already taken this journey.  Thank you.

[Monty]

Hi TammyA,

I am sorry for your loss. Unfortunately the grieving process is not something we can speed up or avoid. If only we could. It is its own painful journey. There is no quick fix to get back to ‘normal’ life. This type of lose changes you forever. It is something you learn to live with but it takes time.

It sounds like you have a very important job that you are proud of. At this stage, your number one priority needs to be you. You need to be kind to yourself. Take the time to just be with your loss. My sister is the same as you. She has an important job that really needs her but because of this she has been in denial about our losses. It is now years and months later catching up with her. She needs to be kind to herself also. I see her falling apart before me and I try to support her. She is aware that she has pushed her grief aside but knows that this has not made it disappear. 

Regardless of your relationship with your Mum she was still your Mum and she is no longer physically here with you. This will take time. Please be kind to yourself.