Father committed suicide, struggling to cope

[jessicavand1996]

So it’s actually been a year and a half since this has occurred, but it still weighs really heavily on me. My dad committed suicide in October of 2019, just after my 23rd birthday. He has always struggled with mental illness and earlier in 2019 had attempted suicide unsuccessfully. He and my mom were together through everything even though his mental illness was very hard for our family. I grew up with my dad being in and out of mental hospitals. Anyways, last March I left the city we lived in when it happened, and have now moved back. Since I moved back, I feel the grief so strongly again. I think of him all the time. I haven’t been to grief counseling or anything like that. Does anyone have any tips to get through this? 

[reader]

Dear Jessica,

I'm so sorry, I know it's incredibly difficult and painful time. It's a lot for a person to cope with. I found this article that I hope will help.

https://www.healthline.com/health/survivor-of-suicide-loss#takeaway

(((hugs)))

 

 

 

[BEQUET93]

I would strongly recommend grief counseling. Losing any loved one to suicide adds an extra layer to the pain and talking to a professional might help you to work through some of it. Some of the grief counseling experience might be frustrating, but it is helpful to have an outlet where you can express yourself freely about the loss of your father and the mental illness that was the underlying factor of his suicide. If talking to a stranger is something you really don't want to do, try writing out your thoughts and feelings in a journal or sharing them on this forum. One thing my own therapist recommended is that I write a "trauma narrative."  I got really into it and wrote 24 pages. I'm still working through things, but I did feel some sense of relief, after I shared it with her. 

My best to you and your family.

[Monty]

I am so sorry for your loss. As Bequet said, I’m sure losing a loved one to suicide comes with a whole other layer of grief. Dealing with a loved one who is suffering from mental illness is draining and overwhelming too. What a long journey it has been for you and your family. 

Bequet had some great suggestions. Also finding an outlet to help you deal with your grief such as walking or running, painting (if you are creative). Anything that works for you really. Everyone is different. You have to find what works for you.