More sadness this weekend

[foreverhis]

Hi all.  I guess I just need to get this out, so please bear with me as it's overly long and complicated.

My sister and BIL visited for a long weekend.  They've been making even more of an effort to be here for long weekends during this past stressful year, including staying for a week last fall, which was great for all of us, and 5 days at Thanksgiving.  When they come down, they bring their McNab mix rescue dog.  He's about 10 (no one knows for sure), but in excellent health.  Of course, I spoil him and he knows his "auntie" is a pushover for the most part.  We have sofa snuggles, treats, play, belly rubs, and he knows when they're here that he's in one of "his" places where he's got a blanket and pillow and the "dog spot" on the sofa.  It's the spot every dog who has ever lived or stayed here has claimed as perfect because it has a view of most of the downstairs and out the front window, gets the breeze on a hot day, and is easy to jump down from if something fun is going on.

He had been fine.  Excited to get on the road, watching his stuff get packed and put in the car, and jumped right in. He slept on the road, as he always does, sitting up when they got to the winding coastal mountain road that means they are almost here.  But when they arrived, he collapsed and could barely walk into the house.  At first it seemed he might have pinched a nerve, but we looked at him and knew something serious was going on.  I immediately called our local vet, but they were swamped, so my BIL loaded him back into the car and took him to the closest emergency hospital 45 minutes away.  There, he was gently placed on a gurney and seen immediately.  It turned out that he had a large tumor on his spleen that had ruptured (literally split open) on the drive down and was causing internal bleeding.  We looked it up and the vets confirmed that when it happens like that, when it's acute, there are almost never any pre-symptoms.  Even knowing that, my sister felt like she somehow should have "just known" something was wrong.  Yeah, most of us are familiar with that feeling and we know there's little anyone can say just then that will ease the guilt.  Plus, with COVID procedures, my BIL couldn't even be inside the hospital with him.

Back and forth they went on the phone, the vets and my BIL, then my BIL and sister.  Their options were limited to surgery with a 60% chance the tumor was cancerous or letting him go peacefully.  Because he is otherwise extremely healthy and imaging didn't show any spread, they opted for surgery that night, hoping to beat the odds.  All evening we were on alert because the vet surgeon said that if they found additional tumors, they would call as that meant almost no chance of survival.  Fortunately, the only other thing found was a cyst on his liver, which most dogs have by that age, that they removed and also sent for biopsy.  He came through the surgery like a champ and, as always, charmed the staff.  They kept him for 2 nights and then let him come back here yesterday.  The biopsy results won't be in for at least 5 days, but we're all hoping for the best.  The poor guy.  I just know he was thinking what we were:  This is not the weekend I had planned.  While he was in the hospital, we carried on our simple plans as much as possible, including visiting with my good friends who are becoming friends with my sister and BIL.  We're all kind of kindred spirits.  It's their sweet dog who comes to visit me 3 or 4 afternoons a week.

My sister's dog was allowed to travel home today, but will be restricted for 2 weeks.  They're on the way, driving carefully and slowly to keep him calm and stable.  After he recovers, whatever time he has left will be good because the tumor and his spleen are gone and he is strong, stubborn, and very much loved.  It may be 6 months or, if benign, it could be as long as 3 years.  But as I sat on the floor yesterday and this morning while he was lying on his bed (wearing one of my t-shirts to discourage him licking the incision and which he is wearing home today), stroking his ears and chin, rubbing his back, scritching right above his tail, and telling him what a good boy he is, I knew that it could be the last time I would be able to do that.  Watching my sister and helping them through the trauma of the weekend made me so sad.  It reminded me of losing our Charlie and Penny, and of course, my John.

You'd think that would be enough emotional pain, but no.  Yesterday, my friends told us that their 16 year old stubborn and sweet tabby had had a small seizure.  As it was the weekend, they talked to the vet, but didn't take her in because it seems there's really nothing to be done at that point.  She had been slowing down over the past year and lately hadn't been keeping up with her self-grooming like she usually does.  My friends had been giving her good supplements to keep her system healthy and her weight up, and they'd been helping her with grooming.  She never seemed to be in any pain or to have any specific illness, just age, and mostly acted like her usual self.

They texted to cancel a second little outdoor get-together because their sweet girl is fading rapidly and probably wouldn't have more than a few days left.  Of course, my doggie friend is beside herself with concern for her feline companion and her human family.  She is one of those sensitive canines who knows when anyone in her pack is hurting in any way.  She has comforted me so many times over the past 2 years.  Just recently, she was napping next to me on the sofa with my arm around her back and me giving her a gentle tummy rub.  I had the TV on and there was a scene where a widower was saying he couldn't lose his house because it was all he had left of his life with his wife and soulmate.  I started to cry quietly.  She alerted, sat up tall, looked at my face, and then draped her upper body across my lap while resting her head on my thigh.  Then she leaned her whole body into me as tight as she could and wouldn't budge, as if thinking that if she loved me hard enough, then I would feel better.  Of course I did.  In fact, when my family arrived on Friday, she was out front with her dad.  She bee lined over to see my sister and say hello.  But she must have sensed something wrong even before we knew because she got really upset for no reason and went running back to her dad.

We've left everything up in the air for the week as far as doggie visits and our weekly baking and outdoor wine visit.  Then this morning as my BIL was packing their stuff and getting everything ready to travel home with one furry patient, my friends were out front (they live across the street and down one) and said that it may very well be today that they lose their kitty.  They will all be devastated when it happens and there is not a darn thing I can do to help.  It's so upsetting and frustrating.

I will never forget the first time I was over for lunch a few years ago.  We were sitting at the table and the cat came over to weave between my feet.  Then she jumped up onto my lap, draped herself across and down, and went into a deep sleep for nearly an hour.  My friend said, "You can nudge her off you know."  Yeah, I knew, but I said that I figured if the cat liked me, I was "in" and let her sleep.

So that was my weekend.  Happy to see people and animals I love, but full of sadness and worry as well.  Thanks for "listening" and letting me vent.

[Roxeanne]

Foreverhis...what a poignant story!

Our pets are so adorable, they understand our feelings, they're grieving with us, they help us  in their tender way...

They are creatures full of joy!

When they suffer the sadness darkens the sky and breaks our heart!

Hope in some way everything goes well

Hugs Roxi

[Diane R. E.]

Foreverhis; my heart breaks for you - this is more than one should have to bear. I pray you have some small measure of comfort knowing that all the pets have loving and caring parents. I sincerely hope your sister and brother-in-law's beloved dog has a number of years still ahead of him.

[KayC]

foreverhis, Wow, that is a lot, very heavy time indeed.  A reminder that grief is always with us as part of our lives, progressively more so as we age and our friends do too.  I've lost 24 dogs & cats, and losing them are some of the hardest losses I've had, they're part of our family.  I'm close to my neighbors and nearly all of them have pets and I'm close to them as well (I've lived here nearly 44 years) so I understand what it is to go through this with them.

I hope you can share this with your friends, I am so sorry that yet another soul has to go through this...I lost my Arlie 1 1/2 years ago and then just 4 1/2 months ago, my 25 year old Kitty...her first sign of anything wrong was on Christmas, the day my son-in-law told my daughter "For Christmas I'm giving you a divorce."  She cried all day.  I lost Kitty Jan. 6.  This is a good article for those of us with grieving animals, following the loss of our spouse or other animals.
Grieving Pet
I wish I'd had it when my George passed, it took my daughter to point out to me that our dog Lucky was grieving too, I was self-absorbed with my own grief and honestly couldn't even notice the sun coming up.

I too add my wishes to Diane's, that your sister's dog has many healthy years left.  That they opted for the surgery says a lot about them and their love for their dog.  I know this is all hard for you too, and I'm sorry for all you went through but also glad you've all been there for each other through everything.

[Gail 8588]

Foreverhis, 

Love is an amazing thing.  

I think our grief over losing our soulmates makes us especially aware of our bonds of love towards our animals.

John and I always had a dog during our 40 years together. Boomer, was our last family pet, we got him when our younger son was a senior in high school.  When Boomer was 7 my husband retired, I was still working. The 2 of them spent all their time together, working in the yard, going for walks on the beach, talking naps. Five years later, when John had his stroke doing yard work, Boomer was by his side when I finally came home from work late. 

I fully believe Boomer grieved the death of my husband.  For the first 6 months Boomer looked every day, all day, for his dad to come home. When I sold the house and Boomer and I moved to a rental is when he finally understood dad was never coming back.

Boomer lived for another 3 years, I think largely because he thought I needed him.  Which I did. 

Boomer's passing last summer hit me much harder than any of the other pets I have loved and lost over the years. 

I think it is because subconsciously I value love more after I lost John.  Even the love of a silly old beagle, who snored a lot. 

 Here is hoping McNab has many more years of belly rubs ahead. 

Gail

[foreverhis]

Thank you, everyone, so very much for your thoughts and good wishes.  I know most members here have had the compounding of their primary grief through other losses.  But boy, this weekend was such a challenge when one thing piled on top of another.  I am so thankful that we got their sweet, stubborn boy to the hospital in time.  We realized pretty fast that a pinched nerve wouldn't cause him to lie on the kitchen floor, weak, panting hard, and his eyes kind of glazing over.  I believe he helped save his own life by drinking a ton of water while we were figuring out what to do and making phone calls.  Doing that helped keep his blood pressure up enough to get him to the vet hospital.

My sister texted a picture and update a little while ago.  He's already doing better, eating well, and taking care of business.  She said his gait is firmer and more stable already.  Of course, he's still tired and achy, and one of the short-term nerve medications makes him sleepy--a good thing right now!  The stitches (3 or 4 layers of the dissolving kind) are clearly starting to itch.  He's still wearing my t-shirt and looks darn adorable in it, but she said they're having to use the cone a bit to keep him from licking and chewing the incision right through the fabric.

We're all trying to stay positive for when the biopsy results come back.  But my sister said that even if it's bad news, she and my BIL will be grateful for the months they'll have with their special boy.  See, he wasn't even on their radar 8 years ago when they found him.  They had lost their first dog only a few months before and my sister was absolutely not ready for a new fur baby.  But they had been to the local shelter to drop off some donated items and visit a friend.  As they were walking by the dog kennels, she looked over and locked eyes with a dog with a big old goofy grin, even though he was clearly sad to be there.  It was love at first sniff.  She and my BIL couldn't help themselves.  They went back and had some time with him to make sure they'd all be a good fit.  They knew up front that there was damage to one of his eyes and it would ultimately need to be removed, but they didn't care.  They aren't rich, but are well off enough that they could afford it by simply postponing a couple of things.  Once he recovered from that, he was just the happiest boy in the world.  They call him "the one-eyed wonder dog."

As for my other furry friend, she's still hanging on as her body winds down.  For the last few days, her human and canine family have been by her side.  She still wants to be held and loved, and gives a small version of her head butt that says, "Pet me--now."  All I've been able to do is offer moral support, confirm that we're skipping all our usual weekly plans, and put together some fresh bread that I'm going to drop over later.  I know for sure that my doggie friend is going to go into mourning when her feline sibling dies.  Most of us pet lovers have been through that, even though there are skeptics out there who don't believe animals have emotions.  They most certainly do and grieving is one of them.  For now, I periodically check in by text or email and will be there for all of them when they are ready to talk, grieve, cry, or anything else they need to do.  My heart is breaking for them. 

[LMR]

@foreverhis  I am so sorry for all the extra pain you are enduring. I do hope there will be a happy outcome.

I don't know why anyone would think that animals don't have emotions. If you spend a little time with them it is abundantly clear. I would love to have a furry friend to cuddle up with, I am very lonely, but I will have to leave here in the coming months so I have to wait.

Have you seen "Hachi, a dog's tale"? A sad but lovely tale, it is based on a true story.

[Sparky1]

@foreverhis
I hope the little guy gets better. I know my dog must be grieving as she seems lost all the time now. She keeps coming near and just stares at me. I ask her if she wants to go out, if she needs more water, it's pretty disconcerting. She's up there in age and has the usual signs of old age and sleeps quite a bit. She loves waiting at the front door. Dogs definitely know what's going on, I wish I could read her thoughts though.

[LibWendy]

@foreverhis 

Sending thoughts of peace and comfort to you, your furry friends and their families. Pets are family and our hearts break when we know our time with them is limited. I hope they both have more time, but if not, I hope they spend their last moments in the loving embrace of their humans. Hugs to you all.

@LMR I haven't seen Hachi, but I've read the book Hachiko Waits. Guaranteed to tear you apart in the best of all possible ways.

[widower2]

On 3/29/2021 at 2:29 PM, foreverhis said:

Hi all.  I guess I just need to get this out, so please bear with me as it's overly long and complicated.

My sister and BIL visited for a long weekend.  They've been making even more of an effort to be here for long weekends during this past stressful year, including staying for a week last fall, which was great for all of us, and 5 days at Thanksgiving.  When they come down, they bring their McNab mix rescue dog.  He's about 10 (no one knows for sure), but in excellent health.  Of course, I spoil him and he knows his "auntie" is a pushover for the most part.  We have sofa snuggles, treats, play, belly rubs, and he knows when they're here that he's in one of "his" places where he's got a blanket and pillow and the "dog spot" on the sofa.  It's the spot every dog who has ever lived or stayed here has claimed as perfect because it has a view of most of the downstairs and out the front window, gets the breeze on a hot day, and is easy to jump down from if something fun is going on.

He had been fine.  Excited to get on the road, watching his stuff get packed and put in the car, and jumped right in. He slept on the road, as he always does, sitting up when they got to the winding coastal mountain road that means they are almost here.  But when they arrived, he collapsed and could barely walk into the house.  At first it seemed he might have pinched a nerve, but we looked at him and knew something serious was going on.  I immediately called our local vet, but they were swamped, so my BIL loaded him back into the car and took him to the closest emergency hospital 45 minutes away.  There, he was gently placed on a gurney and seen immediately.  It turned out that he had a large tumor on his spleen that had ruptured (literally split open) on the drive down and was causing internal bleeding.  We looked it up and the vets confirmed that when it happens like that, when it's acute, there are almost never any pre-symptoms.  Even knowing that, my sister felt like she somehow should have "just known" something was wrong.  Yeah, most of us are familiar with that feeling and we know there's little anyone can say just then that will ease the guilt.  Plus, with COVID procedures, my BIL couldn't even be inside the hospital with him.

Back and forth they went on the phone, the vets and my BIL, then my BIL and sister.  Their options were limited to surgery with a 60% chance the tumor was cancerous or letting him go peacefully.  Because he is otherwise extremely healthy and imaging didn't show any spread, they opted for surgery that night, hoping to beat the odds.  All evening we were on alert because the vet surgeon said that if they found additional tumors, they would call as that meant almost no chance of survival.  Fortunately, the only other thing found was a cyst on his liver, which most dogs have by that age, that they removed and also sent for biopsy.  He came through the surgery like a champ and, as always, charmed the staff.  They kept him for 2 nights and then let him come back here yesterday.  The biopsy results won't be in for at least 5 days, but we're all hoping for the best.  The poor guy.  I just know he was thinking what we were:  This is not the weekend I had planned.  While he was in the hospital, we carried on our simple plans as much as possible, including visiting with my good friends who are becoming friends with my sister and BIL.  We're all kind of kindred spirits.  It's their sweet dog who comes to visit me 3 or 4 afternoons a week.

My sister's dog was allowed to travel home today, but will be restricted for 2 weeks.  They're on the way, driving carefully and slowly to keep him calm and stable.  After he recovers, whatever time he has left will be good because the tumor and his spleen are gone and he is strong, stubborn, and very much loved.  It may be 6 months or, if benign, it could be as long as 3 years.  But as I sat on the floor yesterday and this morning while he was lying on his bed (wearing one of my t-shirts to discourage him licking the incision and which he is wearing home today), stroking his ears and chin, rubbing his back, scritching right above his tail, and telling him what a good boy he is, I knew that it could be the last time I would be able to do that.  Watching my sister and helping them through the trauma of the weekend made me so sad.  It reminded me of losing our Charlie and Penny, and of course, my John.

You'd think that would be enough emotional pain, but no.  Yesterday, my friends told us that their 16 year old stubborn and sweet tabby had had a small seizure.  As it was the weekend, they talked to the vet, but didn't take her in because it seems there's really nothing to be done at that point.  She had been slowing down over the past year and lately hadn't been keeping up with her self-grooming like she usually does.  My friends had been giving her good supplements to keep her system healthy and her weight up, and they'd been helping her with grooming.  She never seemed to be in any pain or to have any specific illness, just age, and mostly acted like her usual self.

They texted to cancel a second little outdoor get-together because their sweet girl is fading rapidly and probably wouldn't have more than a few days left.  Of course, my doggie friend is beside herself with concern for her feline companion and her human family.  She is one of those sensitive canines who knows when anyone in her pack is hurting in any way.  She has comforted me so many times over the past 2 years.  Just recently, she was napping next to me on the sofa with my arm around her back and me giving her a gentle tummy rub.  I had the TV on and there was a scene where a widower was saying he couldn't lose his house because it was all he had left of his life with his wife and soulmate.  I started to cry quietly.  She alerted, sat up tall, looked at my face, and then draped her upper body across my lap while resting her head on my thigh.  Then she leaned her whole body into me as tight as she could and wouldn't budge, as if thinking that if she loved me hard enough, then I would feel better.  Of course I did.  In fact, when my family arrived on Friday, she was out front with her dad.  She bee lined over to see my sister and say hello.  But she must have sensed something wrong even before we knew because she got really upset for no reason and went running back to her dad.

We've left everything up in the air for the week as far as doggie visits and our weekly baking and outdoor wine visit.  Then this morning as my BIL was packing their stuff and getting everything ready to travel home with one furry patient, my friends were out front (they live across the street and down one) and said that it may very well be today that they lose their kitty.  They will all be devastated when it happens and there is not a darn thing I can do to help.  It's so upsetting and frustrating.

I will never forget the first time I was over for lunch a few years ago.  We were sitting at the table and the cat came over to weave between my feet.  Then she jumped up onto my lap, draped herself across and down, and went into a deep sleep for nearly an hour.  My friend said, "You can nudge her off you know."  Yeah, I knew, but I said that I figured if the cat liked me, I was "in" and let her sleep.

So that was my weekend.  Happy to see people and animals I love, but full of sadness and worry as well.  Thanks for "listening" and letting me vent.

Powerful story, hope the dog recovers quickly! Really hit home too...when I met my beloved, she had a dog who she was very close to and I become close to as well. A year before my she was diagnosed, she had to put him down (it was just his time). We both cried as we left the vets. Shortly before being diagnosed, she got a new dog and he was with her/us through the whole ordeal, and was a huge lift in those dark times...and a lifeline I clung to after losing her. About 2 yrs ago I had to put him down...also a 45 min ish drive to ER, in the middle of the night...also a decision on a very pricey surgery which they said only had a very small chance of success, but I had to try. I really regressed after that. Not being in touch with her family and our "friends" having disappeared, he was my last tangible link to her. 

Living "alone" with him was hard, but now without even him, so much harder. No one happy to see me when I come home, no one to care for, etc. Amazing how they work their way into our hearts. 

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, widower2 said:

Amazing how they work their way into our hearts. 

It is.  Even when they aren't ours, they can become so much a part of our lives that it's a devastating loss.

About 1:30 this afternoon, one of my friends texted and asked if my doggie friend could come over for a few hours for a break from the stress and worry at home.  It's not our usual day and we'd left everything up in the air.  I said that of course it would be fine and then scrambled to get her "stuff" ready (water dish, blanket, small ball I bought her).  She came flying in the door, happy to see me, but clearly not quite herself.  I think that my friends also wanted some time with their kitty, who is just hanging on now, in the quiet and not having to worry about their beloved pup for a bit.  Plus, knowing this dog, she was probably hovering over her feline sister like a little nurse maid--the cat may have wanted a break too.

We had a little play time to start, as always, and then a little fish treat.  After that we usually have some "chill" time on the sofa before some more play and then a rest before we head out for a little walk.  Today, she flopped on the sofa after her treat and immediately snuggled up, holding me with her front paws, and asking for a back support (aka, my arm) and tummy rub.  She was out like a light for more than an hour, clearly exhausted from taking care of her family at home.  Having a little break was a good call.

We went for a little walk and then I gave her a good wash up (I usually do if she's been out in the wet sand and pollens).  She went a bit wild during her play time, I think maybe releasing some stress and upset.  Then it was back to the sofa for more snuggly nap time, while I talked to her and told her what a good girl she is. 

When her dad came to pick her up, he seemed a little calmer too.  We may do that again later in the week, depending on how things go.  It was good for everyone.  I know there are people in the world who would not understand why I'd drop everything to take care of a dog not my own.  I know all of you here do.

[LMR]

@foreverhis " I know there are people in the world who would not understand why I'd drop everything to take care of a dog not my own. I know all of you here do."

You are so right. It is a wonderful picture you paint despite the sadness. Giving love and care the way we all wish we were doing that for our lost soul mates.

[KayC]

17 hours ago, LMR said:

Have you seen "Hachi, a dog's tale"? A sad but lovely tale, it is based on a true story.

One of my favorites ever!  I am a huge dog lover and that story proves my reasoning.  Sometimes I don't know why God bothers with humans, He could have quit when He created dogs and called it good, imo!  Nothing like their loyalty and love!

@foreverhis, I'm glad you got in some doggy time!  I did that with Joe (neighbor's chow) for ten months until he bit me the second time, hard enough to necessitate surgery from the ensuing arthritis, I've lost strength in that hand (down to 30%) and suffer with constant pain, surgery didn't help.  He did damage to my other hand too when he jerked hard on it, it's at 50% strength and constant pain too.  I had to discontinue our walks and can't trust him with Kodie as he attacked him when he was just a nine week old 4 1/2 lb. ball of fluff.  He was sleeping when Joe attacked him.  I still love Joe and I miss him, but cannot care for a dog I can't trust.  I'm glad your experience with this one has been so positive!  It benefits all of you!  They say it takes a village to raise a child, well a dog can't have too many people that love them either!

[foreverhis]

On 3/31/2021 at 7:41 AM, KayC said:

I still love Joe and I miss him, but cannot care for a dog I can't trust.  I'm glad your experience with this one has been so positive!  It benefits all of you!  They say it takes a village to raise a child, well a dog can't have too many people that love them either!

No, you definitely can't take care of Joe.  It's far too dangerous.  It's also sad.

Yes, my furry friend has been a real blessing.  She's got a wonderful personality and knows she has a second home here, as well as with her long-time sitter. 

Everyone just falls in love with her instantly.  And she's a hoot the times when her parents have gone out of town.  She'll come to me early in the day so there's less stress of, "You're leaving me?  But why?" and we'll have several hours together.  Then her overnight sitter picks her up late afternoon.  Her attitude is like, "Oh boy.  Everybody loves me.  I'm so special." as she dances off to her next adventure.  She's intuitive and super smart.  She's also incredibly loyal.

Yes, dogs are so unconditional in their love that you'd think we might learn a thing or two.  Even after having been abandoned in a field when she was little more than a pup and going through the trauma of two shelters, she adores her human (and feline) family.  It took lots of patience and love for my friends to bring her out of her shell, but once they did, she was such a big personality in 12 furry lb.  They told me they think that she didn't want to become too attached, fearing that she'd be "dumped" again.  Poor little love.

Don't get me started on the people who abandon or abuse animals...My words are not polite and the things I want to happen to them are not kind.

[Roxeanne]

1 hour ago, foreverhis said:

Don't get me started on the people who abandon or abuse animals...My words are not polite and the things I want to happen to them are not kind.

I am with you foreverhis

I send curses to all of them

Hoping they works!

 

[KayC]

Yep, I think we are all in agreeance here!  I would love to see the laws changed that would treat this like child abuse with stiffer penalties as they are NOT just a "piece of property" that depreciates!  I can get pretty heated on this subject.  Joe's mom had adopted Nakeesha, a beautiful sweet Husky mix that had been homed and rehomed about 6-8 times.  How could anyone ever give her up!  I told them if she ever needed a home I would take her without hesitation.  Sweetest little girl that ever lived, she died of old age recently, I still miss her so much.

[LibWendy]

Huskies are notoriously surrendered dogs because they are so energetic, independent and feisty (not in an aggressive way). We have a husky (well I guess now I have a husky) who came from one of Jeff's coworkers who was going to surrender him after he discovered the husky needed a lot of care and wasn't just something pretty to look at. I am so grateful every day to have him and his furry sibling to hug. I have always felt that when you take on the responsibility for a pet, you take that on for their entire life (with very few exceptions). I've had a few who were real handfuls in the beginning, but with lots of love and care, they became the most remarkable pets.

But I digress. @foreverhis what a gift you gave to all of them. Lots of love and attention for the pup, some peace for the kitty and some time dedicated to the cat for the humans. All around a beautiful thing. Please keep us posted on all of the furry friends.

 

[foreverhis]

6 hours ago, LibWendy said:

I have always felt that when you take on the responsibility for a pet, you take that on for their entire life (with very few exceptions).

Agreed.  Of course there are times that it's impossible and I don't fault pet owners in those circumstances.  Other than that, it's our responsibility to give our furry friends all the care, love, and attention they deserve.  They love us unconditionally, are endlessly entertaining, and are usually so loyal.  All they ask in return is that we love, care for, and protect them too.

My husband and I love Huskies, but they were not an option for us because we didn't have the time or energy needed to give one the life he or she deserved.  Ditto for Australian Shepherds.  We had Keeshonds, which were perfect for us.  In the 40 lb range, easy enough to "wrangle"; loving and bred to be family, as well as around children and other pets; protectors, but not aggressive; and energetic, but not to an extreme.  Yes, they do require grooming, but we were fine with that.  I did most of the brushing and John clipped nails and took care of the "icky" stuff.  Our last, Charlie Bear, was our soulmate-in-a-dog.  We got him around the same time we got our precious Penny, a red tabby Persian (the type with a petite, but not squished nose).  She was our other "best of the best."  I miss them still and hope so much that John is with them now.

The truth is that my friends have given me a gift in sharing their sweet dog with me.  It was their idea that we go from one pet sitting afternoon each week (pre-COVID on their one long day) to three to four afternoons each week once we were under stay-at-home orders.  They were really worried about me being alone and getting shoved back in my grieving (I was).  My doctor is thrilled that I have her for emotional comfort and support.  Plus, she gets me out of the house for a walk on those days.  I don't have the strength, emotionally or physically, to have that full-time responsibility, so it's a perfect arrangement.  They have some time to work or get things done without her underfoot (or them feeling guilty about "ignoring" her); she and I have small, but wonderful adventures, and share tons of love.

My heart is breaking for them losing their sweet cat.  She's been holding on all week, not seeming in pain or distress, as if she's just not quite ready to go.  They've been loving, holding, and comforting her every minute possible.  They've decided they must make the devastating choice of easing her out of this world to the next, but I hope so much that she simply leaves us quietly at home with her family. 

[Jttalways]

I am glad his surgery went well. My biggest regret is not having a pet during this whole ordeal. I rent and am not allowed pets. I love animals so much. I feel having a furry companion would have helped me tremendously.

[KayC]

18 hours ago, LibWendy said:

with lots of love and care, they became the most remarkable pets.

I agree, and it's all in how they're raised.  Arlie was 1/2 Husky (my soulmate in a dog that I lost 8/16/19) and OMG he was a handful in the beginning!  He'd never been taught anything and had no house/car manners!  He turned out to be the best dog I ever had and was perfect for me!  Considerate, loving, the best communicator ever, a gentle giant, goofy, fun, very intelligent!  Nakeesha was a wonderful dog, sweet, gentle, not at all a handful except she liked digging.  My Kodie (miniature Husky: Klee Kai) also loves digging so I have to keep an eye on him when outside or he'll dig his way to China!  My biggest fear is him getting out because I don't want anything to happen to him!  But Huskies are wonderful dogs, so intelligent and so much personality!  Loyal to a tee!  They are my favorite dog for many reasons and we get more from them than we could ever give.

The only dogs I cannot adopt are ones that bite because of the abuse in their background.  I have permanent damage in both hands because of this and cannot risk it again.  My little Kodie is totally non-vicious, the friendliest dog that ever was, very sweet!

 

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, KayC said:

My little Kodie is totally non-vicious, the friendliest dog that ever was, very sweet!

And so darn adorable that I want to just reach through the screen and scritch his ears!

[foreverhis]

Well, my friends, it was one of the most bittersweet days I can remember.

My dear friends were able to have a vet come to the house and help ease their sweet cat into the next world.  She was starting to suffer.  When that was clear, they made the heartbreaking decision that had to be made out of love.  I know you won't think I'm too weird (or at least, not any weirder) if I tell you that I talked to our Charlie and Penny today and asked them to keep an eye out for a stubborn, sweet cat who is on her way.

Then a little while after that, my sister called.  They got the biopsy results:  All benign.  Their feisty, one-eyed wonder beat the odds and will recover to go on with his senior years.  Such a relief and, honestly, a bit unexpected.  We were all prepared for the worst.

My emotions are all over the place right now--but that's not exactly a new thing for me (or any of us).

Thank you all so much for sending your kind thoughts, prayers, and staying with me through this difficult week.  Being able to come here and talk about it is a grace in my life that I do not take for granted. 

((HUGS)) to all!

[KayC]

Wow, a very emotional day indeed!  I am so glad for your friends that their dog will continue his life, what great news!  I'm so glad they opted for the surgery.  

But for your friends' loss of their cat I am truly sorry, and no I do not think it weird at all that you talk to your departed, I do all the time, both to my husband and Arlie, and even Kitty.  It seems the older I have gotten the stronger the attachment to my animals, they are very much my life!

Kodie has been missing his best friend Jazzy for 11 days, last night as soon as we finished our third walk, Jazzy's mom called and said they just got back from vacation and Jazzy went into heat so the vet couldn't spay her.  She wanted me to bring Kodie over.  I did, and the dogs went nuts to see each other again!  We had the laugh of our lives, watching Kodie trying to hump Jazzy, but he couldn't quite reach her, he's such a little guy and she's a full grown Husky!  She was patient and let him.  I asked Iris what if he did get her pregnant?  Whereas she had been torn before, now she secretly wishes he would as they'd be such adorable puppies, I know she wouldn't have a hard time finding homes, and Klee Kai sell for a lot.  Just wondering what size they'd be.  Kodie woke up in the middle of the night crying softly, I think for Jazzy, so I got him out of his kennel to sleep with me...only I didn't get back to sleep whereas he did.  Will be tired today!

Ahh, life is bittersweet!  (((hugs back!))))