world upside down

[savanna93]

I am a mom of 3 girls...although the world will now tell me I can mother only 2...my oldest was killed in a car accident on June 9, 2011. It was 5 days after graduation from high school, she was only 17. Yesterday would have been her 18th birthday and instead of helping her pack up her stuff to attend her college I was standing over her grave in a cemetary. I have gone to a counselor but it seems to be the same thing over and over again. I still have 2 younger daughters that depend on me and I want to be the best for them that I can be because the 2 deserve everything the 3 had. I guess I am like a lot of others in the fact that #1 I can't fix it and that frustrates me and #2 why me? why her? I thought that maybe trying to reach out to someone who may have had a similar experience may help me. Thanks for listening to me and hopefully there is some peace for me out there.

[shorty16]

Girlsmom3

We will always be the mothers of 3 children. One is in heaven now. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I can relate to standing around and saying "What do I do now? Where did my world go?"

Our 16 year old son was killed on 6-19-2008 in a car crash, 4 days after his older sister graduated HS. Brian never even got to enjoy his senior year.

You are so new to this journey, the grief, the constant movie playing in your brain of the accident, the call, etc. will be with you for several months, so please be kind to yourself. Soon a little bit of light will show through - a short time when your world is not obsessed with the loss of your daughter. That little light may be only a minute, but the 1 minute turns to 2 and so on.

Right now, just be kind to yourself, cry, sleep, drink plenty of water and eat if you can.

Most of us post on "Loss of an Adult child" thread - come join us if you can.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ModKonnie]

I am a mom of 3 girls...although the world will now tell me I can mother only 2...my oldest was killed in a car accident on June 9, 2011. It was 5 days after graduation from high school, she was only 17. Yesterday would have been her 18th birthday and instead of helping her pack up her stuff to attend her college I was standing over her grave in a cemetary. I have gone to a counselor but it seems to be the same thing over and over again. I still have 2 younger daughters that depend on me and I want to be the best for them that I can be because the 2 deserve everything the 3 had. I guess I am like a lot of others in the fact that #1 I can't fix it and that frustrates me and #2 why me? why her? I thought that maybe trying to reach out to someone who may have had a similar experience may help me. Thanks for listening to me and hopefully there is some peace for me out there.

Girlsmom3

I am so very sorry about the loss of your daughter. I have no answer to "why you" and "why her." I wish I did. Somethings just are simply unanswerable, I guess. My heart goes out to you, truly. I picture your words, and I feel a piercing pain through my heart. While it may not help much at this point, there are many people here who have also lost their precious children. They will be able to offer you advice and encouragement. Please feel free to share your daughter's story.

How are your 2 younger girls doing? Are they coping okay? What about the rest of your family? All of you are welcome to come here to talk about your despair, anguish, confusion, and everything else you are feeling. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie