The things people to survivors when someone takes their life by suicide

[Kera]

I was reminded again some of the things people say to you when you lose a loved one to suicide. I know it can be awkward anytime someone passes, how many times can you say "Sorry for your loss" or Condolences" but with suicide it is even harder. Well meaning people can say somethings that just hit you hard. I know I can share it with you guys here and maybe you have heard some things to that just made you go "wow". I was told by his coworkers that Michael had never been happier or more excited about having me in his life then one said "I I heard people say suicides sometimes do it when they are at their happiest" Another "Loving you gave him the courage to die" "He'd made a promise to death, like a friendship, that superseded his promise to have you in his life". "Romantic love can't compete with the pull of Death"  Talk about trying not to feel guilty. Yes, I do when I hear that. I feel like the harbinger of death here. Years ago at 16, a 26 year old man wanted to date me, naturally Mom went ballistic because she had introduced us at the karate club never thinking he'd declare those intentions. ( I was there to learn self defense) He shot himself. Later we discover he was married with a son, so he did have some major issues but that now with my Michael as me feeling cursed like I am the catalyst for making men take their lives. It is silly and unrealistic but just bad luck and not a curse. Hearing those comments though.............. ouch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  Art Linkletter had the show "Kids say the darnedest things!"...I could write a book called "People say the STUPIDEST things!" 

When we were kids we were told "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  That was not true.  Words DO hurt! The Bible has much to say on the tongue and we're cautioned against being hasty with it...

2 hours ago, Kera said:

me feeling cursed like I am the catalyst for making men take their lives. It is silly and unrealistic but just bad luck and not a curse. Hearing those comments though.............. ouch.

I am sorry people have said such stupid and inappropriate things to you, furthering your own anguish.  Next time someone says something idiotic to you like that, I hope you'll look blank at them at say, "And that is supposed to comfort me...how???"

[Diane R. E.]

Oh my goodness Kera; I cannot believe people would say such cruel things to you - I don't think what they said are even true! (((HUGS)))

[jmmosley53]

Hello Kera,

I am tired of trying to figure out why people say some of the hurtful things they say.  It would be so much better if they said nothing at all.  Kind of makes you want to slap them.

[KayC]

Cliches - answers to
Cliches of Grief - Avoiding the