I lost my father unexpectedly

[KeLove Carruthers]

I lost my father to septic, during the pandemic although not covid related. My father was only 55 years old and although suffered from health issues death was not expected. I was almost 5 months pregnant when he died. April 10th will be a year and it feels like it happened yesterday.

My daddy was my best friend I can’t even begin to process that myself, my kids, my siblings will never see him again, hear his voice. I don’t know how to move on, I’m stuck in this dark place. 
 

Im praying this group can bring some healing or insight. 

[BEQUET93]

Please accept my condolences. It's wonderful that your relationship with your father was so great that the two of your were best friends. Your loss was profound and of the sort many people need quite a bit of time to come to terms with. Have you considered speaking with a therapist? A month after my mother's passing, I started seeing a therapist and feel that it has helped me be in a better mental and emotional place than I would have otherwise been. When you are having a tough time, come to the forum and share your thoughts and feelings. Everyone's experience is different, but I am sure that others will be able to identify with what you are going through and be supportive. Parental loss is difficult. I am 46 years old, but I sometimes feel like a child on the first day of Kindergarten, crying, because I miss my mommy. Life will never be what it was, but we will all eventually find new ways of living, just as respective parents would want.

[KeLove Carruthers]

I really appreciate that, I’m also sorry to hear about your mother. I knew the day would come that I would lose a parent, I guess not so soon, I have thought about a therapist, I’ve been stubborn.

It’s the weirdest feeling that I feel like healing means moving on and getting used to a life without my dad. It makes me feel guilty and angry. This group has really been the first time I’m really openly speaking about losing my dad. It’s soo hard 

I really really miss him. 

[ektk]

I hear you in the feeling angry and guilty. My mom recently died (age 63) and I have anger over her being cheated out of so much life from dying young and suffering with illness for over 10 years. I know she wouldn't want me to feel that way and she'd want me to live for her but it's easier said than done as we can't help how we truly feel even if we know they'd want better. Hopefully with patience and time we will find out way.

[Monty]

Hi KeLove,

I too lost my wonderful Dad last year as he became septic after contracting pneumonia. He also had an array of health problems. It was not sudden but not expected either. My children aged 5 and 8 miss their Pa and often talk of him and draw pictures for him. It is sad that (my son in particular) will not be able to grow up with a grandfather as his other grandfather died before he was born.

Losing my Dad has left my heart shattered, I miss him terribly but have to keep moving forward for my children. I am also struggling and have just reached out to my doctor who has referred me to a psychologist to help me with my grief. My first session is in just over a weeks time. I’m hoping the opportunity to talk to someone will help me navigate my way. This forum has been a great help to me as people here understand what I am going through or have been through it themselves. A lot of my friends still have both parents whilst I have lost both.

Take care. Keep coming on here and reaching out. You are not alone.