Lost my mom suddenly and then my dad suddenly a little over 10 months later.

[DeJoJo]

I just lost my mom in February it was so unexpected my grandma was the one who found her. My sister was devastated, I have had to be the rock helping everyone. Whether it be making the arrangements, settling anything that needed settled or being the shoulder to cry on. My father and I started talking more frequently after because it was such a shock to us. Really we’re planning a visit to see each other because  “you never know what could happen”. Between this pandemic and my job working at the hospital where I live I never did get to see him again. Not until the funeral right after Christmas. I can’t be the rock any more. I’m having a hard time focusing at work. I’ve been more depressed than ever. I feel like I’m grieving harder for my mom now than I did before if that makes sense. But then I’m reminded again about my dad and I’m hit twice as hard. My grandma moved away this last week or so. I don’t think she could stay in that house by herself any more.. so I’ve been spending time cleaning out the rest of the things she left behind. I wish my sister was here for me the way I was for her. I am happy for her to have only lost one parent though. It feels almost like everyone I’m around acts as though I should be moved on already. I feel like an inconvenience when I try to talk to anyone about how I’m feeling I just don’t know. Feeling a little out of control with not too many people to talk to anymore. Going to celebrate my 26th birthday at home this year. 

[BEQUET93]

Please accept my condolences. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to lose both parents, in such a short period of time. You weren't through the grieving process for one, when circumstances forced you to begin the process again. It is like compounded grief. I would recommend continuing to express your thoughts and feelings, on this forum, and maybe talking to a therapist. The losses of one's parents changes a person, but I firmly believe that we will all make it through that tunnel and again feel okay. Things cannot possibly be as they were, but we can live more fully, while honoring the memories of our respective parents. Best wishes and hang in there.

[Monty]

I lost my parents 4 years apart and can only imagine how hard it is to lose them both even closer together. The hole it leaves in your heart cannot be explained in words. Being only 25 it would be hard to find friends your own age who have been through the same type of loses you have. Like Bequet93 said, continue to express yourself and be kind to yourself. You are not alone.