Feeling guilty about my cat's death.

[asokaaso2]

My cat died just now and it is because of me. How can I cope and lessen the burden I feel about it. Here's the story sorry for my english:

So my cat disappeared for a day then he went back but with a big wound. It's already infested with maggots and almost half of his body is filled with it. My problem is money since it's pandemic. So I have to treat him myself by cleaning the wound and removing the maggots with water-soap solution. It's fine for the past few days but today I think I went to far in cleaning and he was probably in pain since he's meowing however the maggots are almost gone and so I removed them. However my cat then suddenly shivered and became unresponsive with eyes open. I think he died with pain and I feel really guilty about it, thinking he would have survived if I left it for tomorrow (since it's evening right now). I'm kinda rushing it so it would heal after because he's not eating anything except for water mixed with sugar. My mom tells me that he will die even if I take care of him since the wound is too big and the maggots infested his anus. I'm the type of guy who loves pets and right now I feel like crying like I used to when I was a kid. What I am thinking right now is he won't have to suffer anymore but I still feel guilty.

[yvo4848]

Im so so sorry my dog passed away to few weeks ago,You will be ok .but of I may ask why didnt you take him to vet ,we didn't right away because vets were packed, but Im sorry you lost your cat shes in no more pain.why didnt your mom take to vet..your love is with your cat ,you will be ok I promise. Love.love to you sorry was a bad infection.cat needed antibiotics? Maybe next time vet would be better idea.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss!  I think your mom is right...we had a cat years ago that disappeared, we looked for him and called him but couldn't find him, for five days!  Then he made his way back to us, amazingly.  What had happened is a neighbor set a trap on our property in the woods and Midnight got caught in it and couldn't get free...until gangrene set in, then his paw was so disintegrated he was able to free himself.  He came back to us but by then it was too late, we gave him a can of salmon and then had to put him down.  It was instant and painless but the suffering he did up to that point was immense, I can't even begin to tell you how we felt.  This was my seven year old daughter's cat, he always slept with her, took to her.  His sister, Autumn, would not come in the house again or let us pet her, she decided instead to live outdoors and had a distrust of people.  Midnight was only two, Autumn lived to 14.  Autumn had been mine, always slept by my head.  Everything changed from that day on.

You did your best, and I doubt it was the pain that killed him, more like it was just all too much for him.  To have maggots anally it had to be throughout his system, that and no nutrition able to get to him.  I'm so sorry, but you really did do your best.  What would you tell a friend going through this?  Tell that to yourself.  Sometimes when we lose our best "furry" friend, we need to learn to be our own best friend and treat ourselves with kindness and understanding. 
 

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort to your broken heart...

 

[AJWCat]

My heart breaks reading this, so sorry this happened.