Bad day

[Bennie Jets]

So Alan's thing was cars. He was not just a car fan, but also raced cars as a kid (young person) - just a 500 dollar dirt car, but he was in the SCCA (Sports Car Club of America) and always wanted to race again some day. Dreams of being a NASCAR champion eluded him, but he still enjoyed a passion for cars. That was not all. He also had worked out of high school pumping gas, then doing oil and filter changes, state inspections, and worked himself up to a full blown mechanic. He was a full time mechanic for 10 years before going back to school, often working 60 hours a week.

He knew everything about cars. No kidding. How a seatbelt buckled on a certain model certain year car and how to change a transmission, do engine work, balance tires, or read codes on the newer computerized car models. He taught me how to do my own oil and filter changes and we always wanted me to learn more, but... I always had him to just do it.

Needless to say, I never had a car repair bill in 29 years. Well, once. Our truck broke down at our wedding and we let the shop put in a new transmission that time. Most everything else he did himself. Brakes, automatic window replacement, transmission, new timing chain on his Miata, anything.

When he died I took our truck in and promptly had a 1700.- bill for engine tune up and repair, oxygen sensor, catalyst. It came back with a rough idle and I took it in again today, thinking they may be able to tune it up a little better, if they missed some small thing.

Well, they say it will be 1600.- now. This is all less then 4 weeks after Alan died. I miss him so. Cannot talk this over with him. Are these repairs really needed? They say the radiator is leaking now and a coil is misfiring and it needs gaskets since oil is leaking. Can we just pour some leak stop into the radiator? How bad is this oil leak? Alan had some on his old truck and drove it just fine.  He always had some tricks up his sleeve and made the threats of the garage go away with a laugh and a home repair for only what was really needed. Now I am alone and wondering why did they not see that it needed so much more when they just did a tune-up of the engine and 1700.- in repair work last week?

I called a friend and she said I need to plan on thousands of dollars a year for an old car and may want to buy a newer one and she never had car advice for free, how lucky I was that I had that, and such stuff - so I thanked her and ended that call. Sigh.  She did offer me to talk to her dad.

I like this truck and I am keeping it. I miss Alan. He was brilliant with cars. All we had was old cars and they never needed that much. It is just a bad day today becasue this makes me miss him so much more. I am not sure what to do or how to pay for this.

 

 

[Mark loves Sandra]

Bennie,

I'm really sorry to hear this (seriously) and perhaps I can offer some advice in a moment.  Although I now despise working on cars (but do it when I need to), I was once quite the hot-rodder.  Had a souped up black Trans Am (think "Smokey and the Bandit") that I took apart and rebuilt -- and spent way too much money on.  Rebuilt countless engines and have changed more oil / brakes / alternators / shocks / water pumps / etc. than I care to remember.  And have forced this knowledge on my son, who has grudgingly learned how to fix cars and other stuff around the house ("Dad, I do NOT want to spend Saturday under the car."  "Well, neither do I, but seeing as how you don't have the money to pay someone to replace your alternator, we're going to do it together.").

Now since I can't go more than 45 minutes without saying Sandra's name, I'll toss in this anecdote about someone not being super familiar with the complexities of a car.  In Brazil, every gas station is "full service" (the younger people on this forum probably don't know what that term is) -- when you pull up they pump your gas, check fluids, tires, etc. -- will even do a quick wash of the car if you want.  All for no additional fee.  You never have to get out of your car. Which took a while for me to get used to.  Anyway, one day after she got up here, we were driving around (she was driving) and I noticed that we needed gas.  I directed her to the nearest gas station and she pulled in and sat there.  After a minute or two, she looked at me and said impatiently "Well . . . . where are they?"  As it dawned on me what she was waiting for, I said with a smile "Bem-vindo aos Estados Unidos" (Welcome to the United States) . . . . where you have to pump your own gas.  So, being a good sport, she popped out of the truck and stood there studying the side of the vehicle -- she didn't know what the gas tank door/panel looked like.  At that point I laughed good naturedly, gave her a hug, and proceeded to explain the fun process of pumping gasoline in America.  And when she was done, she was pretty proud of herself -- she immediately posted a pic of herself pumping the gas to all her friends/family back in Brazil.

So, Bennie, you're certainly a few steps ahead of my Sandra when it comes to car knowledge, but clearly Alan handled all the mechanical repairs, and without him you're feeling doubly lost -- you miss his love, and you feel like you have no one to rely on in maintaining your truck.  Insecurity piled on sadness.   And this is too much to dump on you while you'r still trying to deal with the loss of Alan.  I wish I could come over to your place and take a look at the truck.  In lieu of that, I'll do my best to give you some car advice/diagnosis.  1)  Leaks are normal on older vehicles and something we have to live with -- you can send yourself to the poorhouse trying to keep an older vehicle from leaking (the average age of my last 4 vehicles was 17.2 years).  Park the truck on some surface that will give you an idea of how much it's leaking.  Take a look the next day.  If the drip spots are small (perhaps the size of a quarter) -- don't worry about it.  Keep some oil and antifreeze at home (Wal-Mart sells ready-mixed antifreeze) and top off as necessary (let me know if you're not sure how to check either).  In a nutshell, I doubt the leaks are anything you need to spend money on.  2)  Rough idle:  is it genuinely rough -- or just not quite right?  If just not quite right, then you might choose to ignore that also -- as I said before, older vehicles are going to have some glitches that can be lived with.  I have my doubts about it being a bad coil -- could be, but could also be about 5 other things.  And your repair shop seems more than happy to charge you a fortune for relatively minor stuff.  If you want to give the coil replacement a shot, go ahead.  But know that coils are very easy to replace -- they're right up on top of the engine and takes about 20 minutes to replace one -- should be no more than $150 parts and labor.  But probably won't solve the problem -- I think they're just guessing.  3)  You've already spent the original $1700, but in the future avoid asking for a "tune-up" -- that's a license for them to go to town on an older vehicle fixing every little thing that might be wrong.  You might consider a different repair shop -- I don't get the warm fuzzies from what you're writing about.

So again, I'm sorry you're faced with delimma which just makes Alan's absence feel even worse (can it be worse ???).  Maybe you're even a little bit scared; feeling that you're at the mercy of someone else when it comes to repairing things that Alan took care of previously.  And the financial burden doesn't help at all.  I wish I could help more.  All I can offer is phone advice. If you need help sorting through some car diagnosis or a quote for some proposed repairs, you can message me directly and I can just give you my phone number if you'd like.  Otherwise, relax, I suspect none of this is very urgent.  I wish Alan was there to handle this.  I genuinely know how you feel.

--Mark

[Bennie Jets]

@Mark loves Sandra Aww, Mark, you are an angel! Thanks for sharing your car enthusiast story in the setting of your own family and the memories of the gas station fun with Sandra. I am so sorry you miss her so and yes, feel this, too. I talk a lot to Alan's photos that are spread all over his side of the bed at the moment. Sandra sounds like she was a real fun and good natured lady. I would have loved to meet her.

Yes, Yes, yes, I have to laugh - Alan owned a '79 F250 super cab, blue Ford truck with an 8' bed when we met (we still have it) and he used to joke that he put more oil than gas in it. I do remember that we frequently topped it off with another quart of oil, even between oil and filter changes. Not very environmentally friendly to spill all that oil on the roads, but I guess it is like the saying "The cobblers children go without shoes" he knew he could fix the truck any day so it was always 'I'll do it tomorrow' and he just kept it going without the repair forever. It was leaking stuff and we just checked it frequently. Alan would have agreed and laughed with you, I am sure, about the "you can send yourself to the poorhouse trying to keep an older vehicle from leaking", ha ha ha.

I think I know how to top off the oil and radiator (when it is cold only!, right?) and I would be more than willing to give that a try. The truck is a 2000 Toyota Tundra and we have had it for 10 years at least. Never topped anything off and I would not be surprised if there was some coolant missing, without there being a significant leak in the radiator they are trying to replace for me now. Ugh. I have a gravel driveway but I can put a big piece of card board under the front end to test for the leaks. Should get an idea, too, when topping it off, how much goes missing in a certain time.

I also remember Alan forever putting fix-a-flat or fix-a-leak in stuff instead of expensive repairs. Just without him I am not sure if I am making a big mistake. The repair shop certainly gives you threating scenarios. 'Oh, you won't get an overheat message on the dash because there won't be any coolant at the sensor... and the engine will just fail.' etc. I asked if I wouldn't be able to see an overheat if there is a leak in the radiator.

Like you said - it is double whammo, tripple really: I miss my trusted friend and his brilliant ways lighting up my life and keeping me safe and happy and care free, I fear these decisions on my own, and I am in a financial mess. Not sure why these shops have to be so brutal. We are all human beings. They know Alan just died. I did not expect a special deal but just some honesty, some down to earth advice, not the usual maximizing of business. But, hey, there you were! I do feel ok again now. Thank you soooo much!!!

About the rough idle: I would like to get that fixed - there is supposed to be a misfire on #8 - not sure how they could do a tune up and 1700 dollars worth of engine work and miss that but ok - maybe it did really just happen when it came from the shop. It had a smooth idle before. That alone will be about 400.-, to replace the one coil. Yeah, I know, but we do have high prices here. Maybe I could take it to another town, were my father-in-law lives, further out. 

I have to laugh. Do you think you could talk me through changing the coil if I get the part myself and possibly a tool or two we don't already have? 

Yah, I did not ask for the tune-up but will be on the look-out when they mention it in the future. I had the engine stuttering to the point were I could not drive it more than 40 MPH, very gently, not putting too much load on it. Alan needed so much in the end (pharmacy, hospital pick-up, blood transfusions) - I never knew when and it was urgent at times - I kept postponing the repair because I needed the truck and could not spare a day for taking it either. They said it had a vaccum leak and the oxygen sensor had rusted off (had happened on another truck we had before) and they replaced the catalyst, hence the 1700.- That was expensive and I thought we were done. Now this.

I will send you a private message about a possible call. Either way, you are the best! You made me feel better.

 

[Mark loves Sandra]

38 minutes ago, Bennie Jets said:

I think I know how to top off the oil and radiator (when it is cold only!, right?) and I would be more than willing to give that a try.

Correct.  Be aware that you won't be adding coolant directly to the radiator, but rather to the radiator reservoir.  Look for a plastic tank on the fender.  Don't confuse it with the windshield wash fluid reservoir which is also a plastic tank near the fender.  Looking for marking about coolant and a warning about not opening when hot.

40 minutes ago, Bennie Jets said:

The repair shop certainly gives you threating scenarios. 'Oh, you won't get an overheat message on the dash because there won't be any coolant at the sensor... and the engine will just fail.'

Uhhhmmmm, yeah, right.  This will happen if you NEVER add any coolant to a system that is leaking.  And if you NEVER change your brake pads/shoes one day you'll try to use your brakes and the truck won't stop and you'll careen off the road and hit a bridge abutment and the truck will explode and you'll die in a brilliant ball of fire (which, when we're really sad, doesn't sound so bad).  Possible . . . 

43 minutes ago, Bennie Jets said:

About the rough idle: I would like to get that fixed - there is supposed to be a misfire on #8 - not sure how they could do a tune up and 1700 dollars worth of engine work and miss that but ok -

Agree, not something that should have been missed.  Though in hindsight, a huge chunk of that $1700 was the catalytic converter because it's filled with little beads that are coated with palladium and platinum -- which are precious metals.  But I digress (because it takes my mind off Sandra). 

50 minutes ago, Bennie Jets said:

Do you think you could talk me through changing the coil if I get the part myself and possibly a tool or two we don't already have?

Sure, I'll do some research on the location of Tundra ignition coils and see if it's something you can tackle. Won't need any special tools.   I'll message you with my cell number.  I'll need to get your engine size and if the truck is 2wd or 4wd.  Engine type is used listed on a white label under the hood above the grill, or actually on the bottom side of the hood near the front.

Hang in there.  We'll save you some money, get your truck running decently, and make Alan proud.

--Mark

[Bennie Jets]

4 minutes ago, Mark loves Sandra said:

and make Alan proud.

Absolutely. =D 

He's thanking you right now! Wants me to tell you. Even if it doesn't work out. Just for being there!

[jwahlquist]

I have always hated dealing with car issues.  That said, my first piece of advice is to always go to at least 3 places to get estimates for the work.  If they all say roughly the same thing about what is wrong and have close to the same costs for the repair then you can be pretty sure that none of them are trying to take advantage of you.  I almost always go with at least one reference from someone I trust.  
 

I am always super skeptical and leery of mechanic shops because I don’t know one end of the car from the other.   I figure that if I don’t do some leg work in getting multiple estimates then I am likely to be taken advantage of due to that lack of knowledge.  
 

wish you the best of luck!

[Bennie Jets]

24 minutes ago, jwahlquist said:

I have always hated dealing with car issues.  That said, my first piece of advice is to always go to at least 3 places to get estimates for the work.  If they all say roughly the same thing about what is wrong and have close to the same costs for the repair then you can be pretty sure that none of them are trying to take advantage of you.  I almost always go with at least one reference from someone I trust.  
 

I am always super skeptical and leery of mechanic shops because I don’t know one end of the car from the other.   I figure that if I don’t do some leg work in getting multiple estimates then I am likely to be taken advantage of due to that lack of knowledge.  
 

wish you the best of luck!

Thank you, jwahlquist. That is a very good idea. Thank you for sharing!

With Covid and the first shop already having done so much, I thought I would just trust them but this second whopper just two weeks later is too much for me. I did call another shop I usually trust (also expensive, though) and they quoted me some prices over the phone. They also said they would charge 90.- just to take a look and diagnose the problem(s). 

Hm. Mark really jerked me out of my fog in a fantastic way! The third shop I am going to consult is the internet and my own driveway! I know the diagnostics they charge 90.- for: you can buy the computer reader for each model car yourself. It may be a lot but you can reuse it if you have the same car for years and it is really as simple as connecting a USB port. I can read and clear the codes myself. Alan may have already bought the code reader for the Tundra, though I may never find it. As far as repairs, well, aeh... I would need a lot of advice and input and some things may be out of reach (I don't have a car lift or an engine lift here - but my husband actually had a stand that can balance tires) so I'd have to decide case by case. I think I will let the radiator and oil leak slip and observe both closely for now and I may try to put the coil on myself if it is doable. I found the part online for 35.- not sure why they want to charge 400.- for the repair but maybe I will find out the hard way, ha ha. If Mark would be willing to help remotely, that would be a worthwhile adventure, I think. =D

I may revert to your idea. Just have to mentally prepare myself that I will have to make three trips and get three estimates. It is a good way to weed out terrible shops that want to take advantage of you. We had run into those before around here when doing a state inspection and they try to talk you into expensive repairs. Usually my husband just fixed it and brought it back to pass inspection. Now things will change for me. Your way may be my new way, too. Thanks again for sharing!

[jmmosley53]

I have no repair car knowledge.  Every time I take the car in for an oil change they tell me something needs to be fixed.  The estimate is always $1000.00  I have started asking what is going to happen if I do nothing.  Most of the time they say something like 'it could break down any time now'  so I take that to mean it isn't going to break right now.

I was wondering if anyone has had a good experience just saying 'I've got $200.00 do that much work.

[Bennie Jets]

6 hours ago, jmmosley53 said:

I have no repair car knowledge.  Every time I take the car in for an oil change they tell me something needs to be fixed.  The estimate is always $1000.00  I have started asking what is going to happen if I do nothing.  Most of the time they say something like 'it could break down any time now'  so I take that to mean it isn't going to break right now.

I was wondering if anyone has had a good experience just saying 'I've got $200.00 do that much work.

Ha ha, it probably does not work that way. 

Even Alan sometimes conceded that what they suggested 'maybe should be done' but the thing was that he never scared me about it.

I think that is what is the most un-nerving and makes me look for other solutions the most: the fear mongering (and the expense, of course)

Nobody likes to be threatened or fleeced. (or taken for a fool)

There are some honest and kind mechanics out there, but it seems that most shops just want to support their business. Even Alan told me that on a slow day, when state inspections came in, they were told to say 'it needs an alignment' to generate extra work. Too bad. It shakes your trust in the world and leaves you looking for a good mechanic/shop.

Maybe we could start an online car repair support group for the lonely - to listen, give some not-liable advice, and keep a list of trustworthy shops all over the world?

[KayC]

I would ask everyone you know for a good backyard mechanic.  The ones in the chains are usually much higher and don't always know as much.  I've had them do a brake flush when they just did one the previous time!  No refund.  Their diagnostics can be off or they can just be downright unscrupulous.  They see women coming.  Maybe take a guy friend in with you that knows the questions to ask, they're less likely to give a BS story to them, do you have a brother or can you borrow a GF's husband?