Help or hurt?

[BBB]

I sometimes watch video of our wedding and ball my eyes out. I wonder if I'm doing more harm or good. There is such a yearning to see her, to watch her that I go back to videos.

 

[LoveNeverDies]

I do this with Terry’s voice and text messages, I miss him, I miss his voice. But after going through his messages I miss him even more and end up in tears. Hopefully some day we can look back with smiles instead of tears . 

[Sparky1]

2 hours ago, BBB said:

There is such a yearning to see her, to watch her

I know the feeling BBB. Every day I ask her to come to me, that I want to see her, to hold her, to kiss her. I agree that it is very difficult to look at her pictures, but I don't have much left and yes they make me cry, but I want it that way. My heart misses her so much and videos, pictures, voice messages are all we have left. The other night she came to me in a dream and I was lying down and embraced her. We kissed and we intertwined our hands together just like we used to all the time. She said, " that feels good", then I woke up. I always extend my hand and ask her to hold it, so I guess she wanted to grant my wish.

[foreverhis]

Overall for me, it has helped.  Some months after he died, I was desperate to hear John's voice.  I remembered some short videos he made right after our granddaughter was born where he narrated what was happening.  I hunted those down on his computer and just let them play.  I've found a few others from time to time as I sort through files.  Yes, I cry hearing him, but it also eases my heart somehow.

I think for most of us, what helps today might hurt tomorrow and then help again next week, month, or year.  I can't say that anything always helps or always hurts me.