Snow

[Anaana]

So it is a very rare sight to see snow where I live, and even more to have the snow cover everything. I have seen it happen 2 times I think over my 30 years. So as you may or may not remember I lost my baby 19 days ago. We were together for almost 6 years, those years we never seen snow together. I always bothered him to take me somewhere to see and play with snow and he always told me that it was too dangerous to go by car. The morning of the day he died it snowed for just 20 minutes. Actually, his last words were "did it stop snowing?". So today not only it snowed but there's snow all over the place. I keep thinking that he is trying to make me happy from somewhere, and while I love snow my heart is heavy and I keep crying. I feel his absence so much right now. 

[Diane R. E.]

Hi Anaana; for me, this seems like such an awesome sign full of tenderness from your dear partner. I know it doesn't take away the pain, but it fills me with wonder that this occurred. (((Hugs)))

[Bennie Jets]

I know what you mean. It snowed and the trees were covered, every branch, twice in the last couple of weeks.

Alan loved snow so much that he had a screen saver with snow flakes coming down. 

It made me very sad, too. I noticed that I was saying to myself one morning 'well, I'm not going out in that mess' and it startled me, since I would have been squeeling with delight, saying "Leany! It's snowing out there!' when he was still here because I would have been so happy for him to be happy with it.

[Anaana]

6 minutes ago, Bennie Jets said:

I know what you mean. It snowed and the trees were covered, every branch, twice in the last couple of weeks.

Alan loved snow so much that he had a screen saver with snow flakes coming down. 

It made me very sad, too. I noticed that I was saying to myself one morning 'well, I'm not going out in that mess' and it startled me, since I would have been squeeling with delight, saying "Leany! It's snowing out there!' when he was still here because I would have been so happy for him to be happy with it.

Don't you have the impulse to share it with him? I shot this video of the snow with my phone but since everyone knows that it's snowing as it's over the whole country, I'm realising the only one I want to share it with... is him. 

[Bennie Jets]

35 minutes ago, Anaana said:

Don't you have the impulse to share it with him? I shot this video of the snow with my phone but since everyone knows that it's snowing as it's over the whole country, I'm realising the only one I want to share it with... is him. 

Maybe you can. Just tell him it's snowing. Tell him you took a video of it for him.

[KayC]

I think that's very special, it seems they pick a sign that we would recognize as special and from them!

[jmmosley53]

I so understand the sadness events like snow can be.  

I live in Houston TX so snow was rare.  When it did happen it was a snow day.  The office would be closed and we got to stay home together.  It was about the only time we'd make coco and sit under a blanket together staring out the window at a white wonderland.

The snow this time just seemed cold.  I didn't make any coco.  There was no wonderland.

Sorry all my posts seem so depressing right now.  I'm just in a bad place and will have to climb out of my pity hole pretty soon.

[Anaana]

@jmmosley53 well the first night of snow passed, the next day it was all fluffy and white. I went for a little walk with two friends and had a few moments of joy, closed my eyes and thought of the snowflakes as little caress from him. I enjoyed the gift a little bit through the sadness, we took photos and threw snow at each other. Now the sun is already shining and melting it away. It's all over the news actually, it was over 50 years since this much snow fell here. And all I keep thinking is, why isn't he here to see it too. 

It's ok to feel and express your sadness, don't feel sorry. We are together in this! Today I feel a little better, but I know soon I will be depressed again. Let's keep hoping ((hugs))