Abusive mother in law

[Cindyd]

My mother in law was never a good mom and is and was abusive to my husband anyway.  She told me she wasn't hurting that bad because doug wasn't part of her life anymore. She told me to keep the ashes because doug loved me more which is not true. He loved me different.  Needless to say I'm angry at her for saying this and for being a psychopath who only loves people for being around and useful to her. I'm thinking about staying away from her. It makes me hurt for my husband when she says  these things.  Am I being over sensitive?

[Roxeanne]

Cindy stay far away from that woman...a mother who don't love her son!

She only make  you feel worst

[Cindyd]

Thanks. She makes me feel like I have to be that much sadder because she doesn't care. He was a person who happened to have the best heart ever. He deserves to be mourned.  He deserves to be remembered. Your right I need to dump her.

[KayC]

Be glad she let you have his ashes.  I'm glad he had YOU, all the more since he didn't get that growing up. 

 

[Gail 8588]

Cindyd,

I agree, you should minimize your contact with his mom. 

You have enough on your plate to deal with.

Gail 

[jmmosley53]

Cindyd,

I am so lucky that I got support from my husbands 2 sisters when he died.  They were his only relatives.  

I have had experience with toxic people though.  I was not able to distance myself from them physically but I did learn to distance from the mentally.  

If you can believe that his mother is defective, that she has broken emotions, it will be easier to make her disappear.  If you disappear someone they can not touch you mentally because they are not there.  If you run into them some place and their mouth is moving it is an optical illusion and can be ignored.

To disappear someone is not hating them or being hostile to them - they no longer exist, you care nothing for them, they are not in you world so they are of no moment.  They can not inflict pain because they are a popped bubble.

[LoveNeverDies]

10 hours ago, Cindyd said:

She told me she wasn't hurting that bad because doug wasn't part of her life anymore.

I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive at all. I would be angry too .There’s something wrong with this woman ! What kind of mother would say that ?!? 

[KayC]

When George died, only three siblings out of nine came (he had ten, one died) even though all but one were easily within driving distance.  His dad was offered a ride (two hours away) and he didn't care to attend his funeral.  I didn't hear from him for a YEAR!  He called and badmouthed George to me.  I reminded him what a good son he was, all he'd done for him, how caring he was and told him not to call unless he had something NICE to say.  And I hung up.  He never called again.  He died a few years later, no one notified me.  It all would have grieved George.  His father was a HORRIBLE father and yet George truly cared about him and was a good son to him.  Some people don't deserve us in their lives.