Moderators KayC Posted January 31, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 What to Say to Someone Who is Grieving I’ll probably undermine your confidence in this article when I tell you; I’m not sure how to write about this topic. Though I have plenty to say in response to the question of what to say to someone who is grieving, I’m conflicted about the best guidance. On the one hand, I know there are no “right” or “perfect” words to say to someone who’s grieving. Many who’ve been through grief will tell you; it’s often not about what you say but what you do. And many times, the best thing you can do is shut up and listen. Knowing this, I’m wary of getting caught up in a discussion about finding the right words when I know the “right words” don’t exist. On the other hand – words matter. You know how the old saying goes – Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will cut me to my core and live rent-free inside my head for years to come. Maybe I have that wrong; I’ll Google it later. Anyway – when it comes to grief support, words can heal and connect, but they can also create barriers and hurt. This is true because anxieties about not having the right words sometimes prevent people from offering their support at all. And because, like it or not, off-putting, inappropriate, or offensive comments can occasionally create conflict and separation. So, I don’t think we can ignore the question of what to say to someone who’s grieving. To the extent that we can help people feel more confident in their ability to support their friends and family, and potentially not say something hurtful or minimizing, we should. Continued on blog... Read More and Share Your Suggestions Other Articles from WYG These post topic interests me, give me more: Grief Support vs. Comfort: A Pro-Tip for the Compassionate and Caring What NOT to Say to Someone Who is Grieving How to Support a Grieving Family Member or Friend: 6 Principles Good Grief Support Isn't Just a One Time Thing I don't relate to this post topic, give me something different: More than Just a Teapot: The Items that Connect Past to Present Warning: Grief Side Effects May Include Building Emotional Walls Why is My Grief Worse in the Morning? Relief After a Death: The Unspoken Grief Emotion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LMR Posted January 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 My friend sent me this....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 1, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted February 1, 2021 I tried to address this on my site here - ref #2: https://griefhelp.webs.com/know-someone-grieving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted February 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 Widower2, I just sent this to some so-called friends and told them that if they cannot get anything from it then we can just call it quits. It's not right that the grieving person has to do all of the bloody work. If I get no replies then I know the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 2, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 Exactly. I wish you luck. Our "friends" all disappeared, even when I asked them to keep in touch. Gee thanks. Apparently they don't get that grief isn't contagious or that I was dying to get together to unload on them and be morose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted February 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 Soooo, three and a half hours later.....crickets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted February 3, 2021 Three and a half hours isn't much time! I know this is easier said than done but try to be patient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 3, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 3, 2021 It's been a couple of days now, anything? You're not alone, ALL our friends disappeared overnight, some before the funeral! It has a way of rewriting our address book. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/friendships_b_2838996 http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/11/in-grief-feeling-let-down-by-closest.html https://www.huffpost.com/entry/friendship-why-i-not-longer-hold-onto-relationships-that-no-longer-serve-me_b_8027096 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted February 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2021 Two out of four got in contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 4, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 4, 2021 Perhaps two friendships can be salvaged then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steveb Posted February 5, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2021 On 2/3/2021 at 3:10 PM, Yoli said: Two out of four got in contact. That’s great Yoli!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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