Members MissyLaLaLa Posted January 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 My fiancee passed away January, 23rd 2021 of Covid-19 related illness. My Father is in the hospital on a ventilator and oxygen fighting for his life. (He tested positive for Covid as well) I am trying to comfort my Mom the best way I can, but I just lost my fiancee of 16 years. I am having so many mixed emotions. First I feel guilty for not being more supportive. Than I feel selfish because I feel like people should be comforting me. This has changed me I am now a very bitter angry person, I use to be so happy and caring, but now I feel like I hate the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jmmosley53 Posted January 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 Missy, I am sorry for your loss and that you have the additional worry about your father. Your head must be dizzy with all that has happened. It is so easy to say stop feeling guilty or selfish - I know from personal experience that you can't just turn off those feelings. But you must turn your focus to caring for both your own and your Mom's health. Make sure you take care of YOU FIRST. Comforting your Mom may be a distraction from your own grief , but you only have so much energy so be careful not to over extend yourself. Sit down and breath, eat something, then take a nap. The grief path you are starting has so many over whelming moments. There is no right or wrong way to deal with those emotions. This site has so many great people that know what your going through. We understand. We have very similar emotions. Read and post, it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted January 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 Hi MissyLaLaLa My partner died in November at the age of 54. She was my world, and her passing has left me totally desolate. In the few short months since, I have gone through every emotion imaginable. Guilt, shame, anger, confusion, despair to name a few. Whilst, just like you, I don't want to experience them, they're perfectly natural and serve a purpose - although that may be hard to believe! After all, if we didn't process these feelings then how would we learn or grow? In time they'll fade, but meanwhile you should be kind to yourself because you're a strong, brave, wonderful person just figuring out how to get by in a cruel, despicable, unjust world. And I also firmly believe that we will be reunited with those we have lost, but in a far better place than this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 31, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 31, 2021 MissyLaLaLa, you've gotten good responses here...I just read this on my other site, I know the author and treasure her as a dear friend. Grief and Fear In My Life Today How Grief Can Affect Your Health Looking Back My Self-Care Basket Reflections for A Grieving Heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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