Will the guilt ever end?

[beth9206]

I am feeling so guilty for not going to visit my Dad the day before he died.I was in bed all day with a horrible migraine and slept all day,and my Mom didn't go visit him because she was so worn out.The last time I saw him alive was 2 days before he died,when we got called to the hospital because his blood pressure was falling.I never even got to say goodbye to him until after he died,as was the case when my brother died 7 years ago.A good family friend went and stayed with him for five hours because my Mom or I couldn't go visit him.And she told my Mom and I that he had tried to tell her something as she held his hand but she couldn't understand what he was saying.She thinks he was trying to say to get Mom and I up to the hospital because she thinks he knew the end was near.When he died the next morning I started beating myself up over the fact that I wasn't there when he needed me most.I have told my Mom and I about this and they say I have no reason to feel guilty because I couldn't have known he was going to die.But that whole day as I lay in bed I had this nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen and I didn't do anything about it.

I am going to start going to a bereavement support group.I hope that helps just a little bit.

[ModKonnie]

I am feeling so guilty for not going to visit my Dad the day before he died.I was in bed all day with a horrible migraine and slept all day,and my Mom didn't go visit him because she was so worn out.The last time I saw him alive was 2 days before he died,when we got called to the hospital because his blood pressure was falling.I never even got to say goodbye to him until after he died,as was the case when my brother died 7 years ago.A good family friend went and stayed with him for five hours because my Mom or I couldn't go visit him.And she told my Mom and I that he had tried to tell her something as she held his hand but she couldn't understand what he was saying.She thinks he was trying to say to get Mom and I up to the hospital because she thinks he knew the end was near.When he died the next morning I started beating myself up over the fact that I wasn't there when he needed me most.I have told my Mom and I about this and they say I have no reason to feel guilty because I couldn't have known he was going to die.But that whole day as I lay in bed I had this nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen and I didn't do anything about it.

I am going to start going to a bereavement support group.I hope that helps just a little bit.

Beth,

You were worn out. It's okay that you weren't there. I hope that you will be able to let go of the guilt and remember your father in happier circumstances. You have nothing to feel guilty about. A bereavement support group would be an excellent idea. Most of the time, people just want to talk in them and share their stories. It truly helps. I offer grief and loss support groups for my offenders at the prison I work at. It really helps them process through their grief and begin to move forward. Many times members simply talk about how they are feeling at that point and what is weighing heavy on their minds. Others reassure them and it's very peaceful and soothing.

ModKonnie