Members BBB Posted January 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 I realize that everyone is different. I realize that accepting is different than adjusting. I'm in the 6-7 month time frame, which for a spousal death is still very much new. For those of you who have years under your belt, how long did it take to "adjust" or adapt? For me, the way I feel right now, I still don't think I'll adapt. This is killing me and each day I just shake my head and say this couldn't have happened. I'm still in disbelief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KevinM Posted January 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 I am at 14 months now and I would say that my life is mostly "adjusted' to the new reality. My son and I are in our new routines and things don't feel like we are navigating a storm anymore. Of course that has given me more mental space to reflect, which is both good and bad. Last Christmas was a nightmare I couldn't wake up from, while this one was just very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted January 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 2 hours ago, BBB said: I realize that everyone is different. I realize that accepting is different than adjusting. I'm in the 6-7 month time frame, which for a spousal death is still very much new. For those of you who have years under your belt, how long did it take to "adjust" or adapt? For me, the way I feel right now, I still don't think I'll adapt. This is killing me and each day I just shake my head and say this couldn't have happened. I'm still in disbelief. I'm at 3 months and still in disbelief and shock. It doesn't feel real, at times it's like I'm in a nightmare. The grieving is intense some days, and some days a little less but it's always there. I understand how you feel BBB, people say it does get better, but I don't think it will completely. We've lost a partner that was our world, how can we ever let go of that? I can't and don't think I want to, my wife was my life. I used to tell her that all the time and she would tell me the same thing about me. I feel empty, lonely, lost, you name it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 26, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 5 hours ago, BBB said: I realize that everyone is different. I realize that accepting is different than adjusting. I'm in the 6-7 month time frame, which for a spousal death is still very much new. For those of you who have years under your belt, how long did it take to "adjust" or adapt? For me, the way I feel right now, I still don't think I'll adapt. This is killing me and each day I just shake my head and say this couldn't have happened. I'm still in disbelief. Your time frame right now a lot of us have found to be one of the most difficult so please don't judge the whole journey by your current feelings...the reason it's so hard for us at this time is because the shock wears off and people have gone back to their lives, leaving us alone with our sharp reality. It took me probably three years to process his death, years more to find purpose, years more yet to build a life I could live...and then Covid came along and smashed me back to square one. This is a journey that lasts the rest of our lives but it's not stagnant, it's ever evolving, although we can feel stuck at times along the way. Nor is it a straight linear path, but we instead dance the dance of three steps forward, two steps back, progressing little by little and sometimes just all over the place with it. We've learned to ride the waves. Triggers abound in our early journey...by early I mean at least the first 2-3 years, sometimes more. Be patient and kind with yourself, this is the hardest journey I've ever embarked on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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