Members Rashell Posted January 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 I could normally open up a lid, but once every 10 times one would be too hard to open and he would have to do it for me. If he was out for the day I would have to wait til he got home to open them, and if he was out of town, whatever I couldn’t open would sit in the fridge til he got back, and opened the thing I spent 30 mins trying to open in 3 seconds. And then he would always say, “See, you DO need a man for some things” Or the one time I wanted to do it myself and wouldn’t let him help me, and he had to watch me struggle for 15 minutes, begging me to just let him do it, before I gave up and he calmly opened the darn lid like it was just the easiest thing. I bought a whole bunch of gatorades the other day and I couldn’t open a SINGLE ONE. All the lids were stuck. So that sent me into a full blown break down of throwing gatorade bottles and crying at 6 in the morning. None of this is fair and it’s all these little daily things that suck more than anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Diane R. E. Posted January 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 You are so right - this is NOT fair. I have the same thing regarding lids, and of course as time goes on, there are all kinds of things our partner normally would have done that we have to learn. Every time I'm faced with a chore that Doug would do if he was here, my heart breaks all over again. I'm dreading the day I'm faced with something that I'll have to hire someone to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jmmosley53 Posted January 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Yes, there are some strength things women just don't do as well. I try to have the right tools to aid me. They don't always work but at least then I can smash it with good conscience. Some of the tools I use are Round rubber lid discs - the waffle one work good. Pliers - needle nose & the kind that has the wire cutter place in between the larger flat ends Hammer Wrench that adjusts the size Screw drivers - both kinds If none of the above don't work -throw it away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted January 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 My wife wouldn't give up either trying to open a jar. She has this contraption you put around the lid and then unscrew it, like a giant wrench. Getting older, I find I have to use it too sometimes. I always admired my wife, she never let things beat her, she was always determined no matter what. Unfortunately the cancer treatment was too much for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Perro J Posted January 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Sometimes running the cap under hot water for a while can loosen it up too. Seems to work better with metal caps. A rubber grip for the wet surface helps a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 You are not the only one who has dissolved into tears unable to open a jar. It's just one of thousands of ways life was better with our loves. It is just sad. We will figure out work arounds to open the jars, but it will always be sad. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 20, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 I have a Tupperware grabber that helps me turn things. I've bought a whole host of contraptions for this purpose, all which were a waste of money. Gatorade lids may open with pliers gripping. I have to admit, the title of this thread brought me a huge smile, been there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 21, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 I often find a good whack on the top with the palm (base) of my hand can help. I think it helps release some of the pressure built up in the jar. For some reason I find the spaghetti sauce I buy often is hard to open and this usually works. Those rubber grippers are great too. My beloved liked to take a knife and BANGBANGBANG the living #### out of the top. I SO hated that obnoxious noise and her obsessive banging. What I'd give to hear it now though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Coops29 Posted January 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 An easy way to get lids of jars is to gently tap around the lid with a heavy handle ie a bread knife. Go round twice and the lid will come of easily. I have had to learn new tricks since my lovely Don left me 8 months ago. He could do anything. Some things however I cannot attempt as in my shed roof is leaking and the shed door is falling off its hinges. I have asked friends and they say they will help but never turn up. Don would have done these jobs in a blink of an eye which upsets me more than I can say. I cry everyday for him to come home and help me and today has been a particularly bad day for me. I miss him so much and it is not getting any easier as people say it will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 21, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 10 hours ago, widower2 said: I often find a good whack on the top with the palm (base) of my hand can help Use something else please, before you hurt yourself! My hands cringe at the though, maybe it's different for men, but I'm turning 69 and have arthritis and carpal tunnel surgery I'm still recovering from (it hurts worse than before) and have 30% strength in my right hand, 50% in left. I have a tool handle I thump on the top of the jars with to break the seal. @Coops29 My shed hasn't been openable for 2-3 years now, it needs taken down and thrown away so it sits...I understand what you're going through. I don't know anyone to call to even dismantle it & haul it off, nor can I afford it right now. If George were here, he would have fixed it or rebuilt it by now. I'd say welcome to my world but it sounds facetious and I don't mean to, I mean it sincerely, I know how hard it is growing old alone. Men seem able to handle these situations better but often struggle with the emotional aspect of missing them, the lack of company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 3 hours ago, Coops29 said: . . . I miss him so much and it is not getting any easier as people say it will. Coops29, For me, the "gets easier" phrase relates to the awful pain, confusion, anxiety of grief. That has gotten easier with time for me. The 'taking care of everything alone' part does not get easier, at least not for me. There is so much work involved in daily living, in maintaining property and a house, taking care of pets, helping our kids/ grandkids. It often feels like it is too much for one person. And whatever support was provided by friends early on, completely disappears as the years roll on, understandably. I suppose that if one had enough money to hire everything out it might be doable. But most folks are not in that position. And really just trying to get workmen to give you a bid on work and then contracting for it to get done is surprisingly difficult and time consuming. This is one reason I am considering going to live with my son, if he and his wife are okay with that. I would be out from under all the house and property maintenance stress. Lots of things to consider. At any rate, I just wanted to acknowledge that not everything gets easier with time. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Coops29 Posted January 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 Gail 8588 Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I know that the daily living side of things will never get easier as there is always repair jobs to be done in my house ...I no longer call it home as it does feel like it without my beloved. I hope that this unbearable heartache will ease at some stage but for now I walk through each day in a haze. Moving in with your son sounds lovely and you will have the added bonus of having company to talk to and not feel so alone. I wish i had that option but my daughter is terminally ill and my other daughter is to far away for my work. I wish you well. Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 Carol, So sorry about your daughter's illness. I can't imagine how difficult it is on all of your family and how it compounds your grief. Your husband undoubtedly would have been your support and refuge through this terrible time. His absence is all the more painful because of her illness. It is very understandable that your grief does not feel any 'easier' yet. One day at a time is all I can suggest. I wish there was more I could offer. Regarding my plans, I am not sure I have the option of moving in with my son, as I have not yet had the courage to discuss it with him. Hugs Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AnnRA Posted January 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 COOPS - My lovely Don left me in early November and I am shattered by grief. I am finding so many little (but big to me) things around the house that I don’t know how to cope with. I will shortly have a housemate, a lovely woman, and I want everything to function well in the house for her, too. I think that will eventually make it easier for me to step up and take charge. But for now, very minute is awful......I hope the pain gets a bit easier, to just get through the day without being exhausted?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 22, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 8 hours ago, KayC said: Use something else please, before you hurt yourself! Ha, I wouldn't do it if it hurt believe me. A tool handle is a good idea though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 22, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 Two tricks I learned this morning: I could NOT get a ziploc bag of frozen grated cheese open if my life depended on it and I'm too scotch to cut it open and use a new ziploc bag, they cost money! I tried pliers, fingers, biting it, nothing helped, just tore the top in a couple of places. Finally I got the idea to apply heat to the top corner, avoiding the cheese. Used my hair blow dryer, worked like a charm! Also I was making a recipe that was on pinterest so was a picture of the ingredients but no directions, for Keto bread made with same mozzarella. Using my Kitchen Aid with dough hooks, it was not mixing as the cheese was too cold. I should have warmed it in the microwave a bit before mixing, but as I said, no directions, first time with recipe. Got the idea to use the hair dryer again, while it was being mixed, worked like a charm again! Necessity is the mother of invention! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 Kay, You are most resourceful! Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 22, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 Or desperate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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