Loss of abusive mother

[Jessica Lee]

I’m struggling with the loss of my abusive mother who passed away at the beginning of November. Even though she was almost constantly a negative presence in my life, I feel sadness at her absence. I also keep feeling the pain of our relationship and I think I expected it to be resolved or something? I keep remembering traumatic childhood memories. I just want to feel better but I just keep feeling worse every day. I almost feel like I am rotting from the inside. 

[reader]

Dear Jessica Lee,

I'm sorry to hear how are you feeling after losing your mother. It is so difficult facing loss even when we've had a difficult and complicated relationship with our parents. Please know no matter how you are feeling it is normal and natural. I hope you can find some additional supports in the community or through church. It's so important to talk to a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist about your feelings. It takes time to work through everything. I know for myself I felt flattened by my dad's passing and wished things could have been different.

I hope these websites can also offer additional supports:

Grief Share

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Thinking of you.

 

[Jacx]

I understand this. I wasn’t in contact with my mom when she committed suicide back in July, But I grieve with the relationship that we never had. I hurt for the potential of resolving things or making it better and knowing now that it never will. It’s a strange and painful thing

[MillieMc]

I am so sorry but understand.  My mother was very abusive emotional and verbally.  She passed away February 2020 and I am still struggling with not getting closure.  I think I know why she treated me the way she did but when I tried to discuss it when she was alive, in her mind she did nothing.   I have to make peace with the fact that her choices were hers alone. I was just the object of her rage.