Members lex22 Posted January 11, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 My mom died a few days ago. She was heavily involved in drugs for the past possible decade I believe. She left behind a newborn, only a week and a half old. My sister (14) and I live with my grandparents and are happily taken care of, I always held a grudge against my mom for never getting or wanting help to stop her addiction and trying to get us back. I'm 17, going to be 18 in a couple months and I realized my mom will never be here to witness that. It just doesn't feel real that she died. Like just a few days ago she called, all happy and laughing over the baby and now she is gone. I was at work yesterday and my grandpa had come to get me from work so I wouldn't be driving home crying and possibly wreck. When I came down to the office and the gates, my grandpa led me outside and gave me the bad news and all I could do was start screaming. It just felt so, awful. It still does obviously. I feel numb and I can't stop crying. I just want my mom back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BEQUET93 Posted January 12, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 I am so sorry for your loss. For years, I have worked in the mental health field and seen how addiction affects more than the addict. It isn't uncommon for addicts to have underlying mental health issues and they engage in substance abuse as a form of self-medication. It is maladaptive coping, but that is how they cope with their internal states and the world around them. It is okay to hold a grudge, but you might want to consider talking to your grandparents, clergyperson, or a therapist about you feelings, so you can work through them. What you have described is normal, in grief. When someone you have known for your entire life has passed, especially unexpectedly, it is jarring and leaves a person emotionally raw. Losing a parent is scary. I am much older than you and I am still scared that my mother is gone and miss her terribly. It sounds like your grandparents are a good support system and I am glad that they are there for you and your siblings. In the days to come, you are likely to experience a variety of thoughts and emotions that are painful, but it is part of the grieving process. Again, please accept my condolences for your loss and my well wishes to you, your siblings, and your grandparents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monty Posted January 14, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Lex22, I am so sorry you are going through this. Such a young age to be dealing with such a loss. I lost my Mum suddenly to a brain aneurysm 4 years ago and it was devastating. You never get to say all the things you ever wanted to say when the loss is so sudden. I found writing my Mum a letter really helped to say everything to her I needed to say but never got to say. I put my letter in the coffin with my Mum. My siblings and my Dad all wrote letters too. No matter your relationship with your Mum she was still your Mum. You are probably not just grieving the loss of her physically not being here anymore but also grieving the relationship you wish you could have had with her if she had sort help with her addictions. You possibly always lived in hope that this would happen one day. Now that has been taken from you too. Please know that you are not alone. The people on this forum are supportive and understanding. Put one foot in front of the other, lean on your grandparents, sister and friends for support. Feel whatever you need to feel. Cry, scream, get angry. Take care and be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Trikwuchi Posted January 23, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 Sorry for your loss. It's difficult to comprehend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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