Members mbr513 Posted December 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 I lost my mother yesterday and I don't know what to do. She was the only person that I felt really understood me. The hole she's left in my life is so huge that I don’t know how I will overcome this. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. She is running through my brain every second and it’s tearing me up inside. I watched her take her last breath and it’s gonna stick with me forever. I feel so lost without her. Who am I gonna turn to for all my little dumb questions and concerns? That will listen to me without judgment? She was my best friend in the whole world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted December 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 Dear mbr513, (((hugs))) I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences. I know it's really hard right now. Be kind and gentle to yourself in the coming days and weeks and months. I hope you can lean on trusted friends and family members and get all the support you need. Please know you are not alone and we are with you on this forum. People here will understand. Take care. Sending my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monty Posted December 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 Hi mbr513, I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know that we are here for you on this forum. On this forum are people who are going through or have been through the loss of a parent/s. They know and understand your pain and loneliness. Be kind to yourself. Put one for in front of the other and breath in and out. Cry, scream, get angry. Be whatever you need to be and like Reader said surround yourself with people who love you and can support you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted December 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 i dont know also. im totally lost even though it has been 2 yrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted December 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 I hear you Nuvar. I feel the same after 4 years. The intensity of my sorrow has lessened and I am managing to get through each today but it's still hard when you wish your parent could still be here. Remember, you are surviving and you are carrying on the best you can. Every day is about putting one foot in front of the other. I think our parents want us to carry on and honor them with a life lived well. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BEQUET93 Posted December 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 The loss of a parent is tough and the loss of a parent who was their child's best friend is doubly so. What you are feeling is painful, but natural. I lost my own mother on November 2nd and that first week without her was absolute hell. She lived with me and I took leave from work to be with her during her final weeks. She passed in the living room and I stayed in there, with the hospital bed. Even now, nearly two months later, I still have vivid memories of her final weeks and fears that I failed her, which are followed by feelings of guilt. What I can say is that survival after such a huge loss is possible. There is no replacing a mother's love. When my own was going through the process of dying and her thinking was unclear, she became worried that I also had cancer and was even more disturbed by that than her own illness. Even though I am in my forties, she would worry that I wasn't eating enough, getting enough sleep, and that I smoke too much. No one will ever again be that concerned about my well-being and there is a feeling that I am no longer as safe and secure as when she was alive, but it will be okay. Everyone grieves differently and we will all have to go through out struggles with it, but life can go on. I tell myself that I am honoring my mother and grandmother by living according to the life lessons they taught me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted January 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2021 i feel so similar to your post, mbr513. all that you've said is so close to how i feel, most days just pass me by, i just dont know how to feel. if it were not for the debts i owe and my demented dad, i dont know what's the point. and im sending him to a nursing home soon. somehow, life has lost all meaning for me... if i werent in debt and had savings, i would probably feel no motivation. really i dont know but my heart goes to you because im feeling exactly the same as what you've said and life is so unfair, my friends and relatives all holding good jobs, have their parents with them, starting their families and have friends. i call them friends but they arent my friends. i feel so pointless and alone. my life revolved around my mum who was my best friend and now she's gone. at least some people can cling on to their dad or friends or relatives but i have none it's the debt that's keeping me going, the irony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Trikwuchi Posted January 24, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2021 So sad. I lost my mum 2 weeks ago. The pain is excruciating and I feel she was stolen from us due to Covid. She's never been hospitalised except in childbirth. She had so much living to do and my heart and soul fell empty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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