Members Sparky1 Posted December 25, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2020 My daughter in law is a pretty good seamstress and today I got a gift from her of a quilt. She made the quilt with my wife's clothes. I had said that I didn't want any gifts as I wasn't in a celebratory mood. I knew that she was planning on making a quilt because we had gone through my wife's clothes and she kept some of them for that purpose. The rest we gave to Value Village so someone could benefit from my wife's clothes. She made it for a Christmas gift and when I opened it and recognized some of my wife's clothes, I was pleased with it, but I also broke down and wept at all the memories it brought to me. I liked the quilt very much and embraced it and cried into it. It's bittersweet because it makes me realize how much I miss my wife, especially on Christmas. The sorrow has been especially intense the last few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SharedLife Posted December 25, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2020 42 minutes ago, Sparky1 said: The sorrow has been especially intense the last few days I know it's difficult; hang in there. I feel the same way, and I've got an anniversary coming up in early January which I'm not looking forward to. The quilt was, I'm sure, made with love and thoughtfulness but I can also imagine something that close could invoke pain. I'd suggest you consider putting it in a place where you can keep it and perhaps occasionally take it out as your healing progresses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted December 25, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted December 25, 2020 I'm so sorry, and yes bittersweet though it is, what a wonderful gift. I still have some of my beloved's clothes, mostly a few tops or t-shirts that have a special meaning for whatever reason (like a place we vacationed). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zee24 Posted December 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 What a sweet and thoughtful gesture from your dil. Its family like that that we are grateful for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 26, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 I wish I'd thought of doing that with George's favorite clothes, what a wonderful gift! Of course it's bound to hit you right now but I hope in time it brings you comfort, it takes much much time for the pain to begin to fade. I think we'll always have emotional reaction to this... it's okay to cry, even to feel pain, in so doing we allow ourselves the processing of our grief. It won't be this intense forever, it will settle down into something we carry with us, hard to describe in words, but you'll see this someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 Friends of ours who lost their daughter at birth have something similar. Another close friend asked if she could take some of the baby clothes and blankets and make them a memorial quilt. After a time, they said yes. Our friend said it really hurt the first time she saw it, but now more than 15 years later, she's glad they have it. She keeps it put away and brings it out on their daughter's birthday. They look at it, feel the soft fabrics, cry, and also smile that so many people love them and her so much. If it were me, I'd definitely put a quilt away for now. Then when I felt ready or when I wanted to remember specific things (his favorite shirt, for example) or a time he wore this or that, then I'd take it out, look at it, touch it, and cry into it. In many ways, it is a very thoughtful gift, but it is bound to bring tremendous pain right now and probably for quite some time. Yet, I suspect that down the road you will be glad you have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LoveNeverDies Posted December 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 I was thinking about having a quilt made with Terry’s clothes . I also saw somewhere that someone made a teddy bear with a voice recording. I’m not sure if I’m ready for it yet though, I haven’t even gone through his clothes yet . His stuff is where he last left them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 On 12/26/2020 at 10:40 AM, LoveNeverDies said: His stuff is where he last left them. Even 2-1/2 years later, my husband's hoodie and day pack hang on his hooks by the front door. A couple of his jackets are still in the closet. Some of his things are right where he left them. These things comfort me and are a tangible reminder that he lived, that he was here and in some ways, he still is. I see nothing wrong with that and have no intention of ever moving them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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