Using the term "widowed" for the first time

[Diane R. E.]

Yesterday I had an appointment with a new doctor and the young lady taking my history asked my marital status. I wanted to say "married" because in my heart I always will be. But I said "widowed". That was a huge deal for me because it was the first time I used that term. The young lady didn't miss a beat though; she immediately asked the next question. Of course she had no idea that my loss is so fresh, but you would think I would at least get a simple "I'm sorry". Another thing to get used to! Does anyone still just continue to say "married"? For those who lost your partner but were not technically married, you were and always will be married in your heart. 

[LMR]

I'm so glad that I always used Mrs. I was never the independent type wanting to keep my own name and be a Ms. I wanted to belong to him. I have belonged for 48 years. I dread having to say 'widowed' but unless its something official I will stick with married. I don't know if it will be possible to keep it up but I will try.

[foreverhis]

I am my husband's Mrs.  I am proud to be.  I consider myself still married to him.  And that is how I speak to friends and family often.

I check "Widowed" only on legal documents where it must be correct.  I remember the first time I had to check that box on a form.  I lost it, just freaking lost it in the waiting room of our doctor's office.  Now I just think of it as what "they" need for legal purposes, but that does not make me less married in my heart.

[KayC]

I said married clear up until time to file taxes, legal documents required actual status.  That was hard.  I've gotten used to it over the years but that first year especially was very tough.  You see, none of us WANTED to be "not married,""  none of us WANTED widowhood, none of us chose this!