Members Jolee Posted December 14, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2020 I’ve been reading threads on this website for awhile and I haven’t come across many people my age. I thought that by posting my story I can maybe help others my age or anyone in general open up. I am 22 years old.....I lost my father when I was 5 due to a sudden heart attack. He was kind, funny and very full of life. I still come across people who tell me how great of a man, father and husband he was. My mother never re-married and I’m the only child. She was the most kind hearted....amazing person anyone could have dreamed for to have as their mother. She did her very best raising a young child as a single mom. May 2019 my mother suddenly passed away from a heart attack. I was living a few hours away and didn’t know the exact situation until I got to the hospital.....my aunts and uncles where already there. My mother had passed away. I can’t describe the feeling. It’s losing the safety net and your best friend all at once. It’s crippling, mind numbing and crushing all at the same time. It’s been a year and a half and I’m just now starting to open up about the situation and my story. I’ve learned that talking about it...even though it may bring up the most painful memories....helps. As time moves forward I’m learning how to cope. It’s not easy....I have many many days where I struggle but also days where my parents memories make me smile and laugh. I live for them.....I do my best to keep their legacy and be the person they taught me to be. I hope that by sharing my story helps other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monty Posted December 14, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2020 Jolie, I’m sorry you are going through this. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure people will read your story and some will be able to relate in some way. I can relate to the pain of losing both of my parents. I have two siblings but can only imagine navigating this as an only child. We do live on for them. They helped make us the people we are today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nicole-my grief journey Posted December 15, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 Jolee, my deepest empathy. Your sharing helps so many including me. I also feel those feelings about my mom. Sending warm thoughts your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nayana Posted December 16, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 Dear Jolee, I'm so sorry for your losses. Its terrible to go through such tragedies at such a young age. I'm 21 and I lost my mom this year. I can understand the crippling pain you're going through. My mind has been torn too because my mom was my best friend too. Grief is isolating, but please know you are not alone. You can message me any time you feel like talking about what you're going through. Lots of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lex Posted December 17, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2020 Hi Jolee, You are not alone. I lost my father when I was 18, I'm 20 now I still think of him everyday. The places that we would go to would bring out the memories. It does feel like sometimes that I'm alone and sharing your story helped me. They are still here in spirit with those memories that we have of our loved ones and they won't be forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members awiles16 Posted December 17, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2020 being an old child is hard when losing a parent. i have never minded until my dad passed away a month ago. this page has helped. we’re with you and thinking of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Charlie4298 Posted January 24, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2021 Hi Jolee, Im so sorry for your loss. Your story has made me feel less alone. I lost my mum four years ago and I am an only child. I dont think many people understand the difference it makes. We are much more connecected with our parents and we have no siblings who can understand our pain. For me the worst but is how being just me and my Dad theres no sense of family anymore and i just wish i had a brother or sister to lean on and be with. I hope you are okay. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zheljko Posted February 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2021 I too can relate somehow. I am also left parentless now, though I am 35 now, I lost my mother after a long struggle with ALS when I was 25, and now my father died from covid a month and a half ago. My both parents were caring and kind people to everyone and put everything into my upbringing - I am also an only child. My father was my person to rely on. I often think I didn't repay them for being such wonderful parents, I feel like I let my father down and that cannot be fixed. I have no primary family anymore, though I have a wife and a child I am actually more sad for then for myself - because she will not be able to spend her time with her granddad. I know I am "next in line" for death, as people say, and I am not sure shall I be afraid of that or embrace it. Thanks for your post, it really made me feel less alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members C. Charlie Posted February 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2021 Losing a parent as an only child is so unrelateable to so many that have their siblings to lean on during their grief. My mom passed away almost 7 months ago. She had me when she was barely 17 so in so many ways, we grew up together. Her passing was sudden & nothing in my life (especially me) have been the same since. My biological father and I have never been especially close and my stepfather (my daddy), who has been in my life since I was 8 (I am now 37) moved on exceptionally fast, leaving me feeling even more alone in my grief. You, sweet girl, are not alone. And though, I cannot relate to losing my parents at such a pivotal time in my life, my heart bleeds for you as an only child. Please, be kind to yourself and employ any and every way you find to make your grief more comfortable to carry. Make time for self care and do not ever feel bad for rejecting “support” that only makes you feel worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Charlie4298 Posted March 14, 2021 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2021 On 2/7/2021 at 9:20 PM, C. Charlie said: Losing a parent as an only child is so unrelateable to so many that have their siblings to lean on during their grief. My mom passed away almost 7 months ago. She had me when she was barely 17 so in so many ways, we grew up together. Her passing was sudden & nothing in my life (especially me) have been the same since. My biological father and I have never been especially close and my stepfather (my daddy), who has been in my life since I was 8 (I am now 37) moved on exceptionally fast, leaving me feeling even more alone in my grief. You, sweet girl, are not alone. And though, I cannot relate to losing my parents at such a pivotal time in my life, my heart bleeds for you as an only child. Please, be kind to yourself and employ any and every way you find to make your grief more comfortable to carry. Make time for self care and do not ever feel bad for rejecting “support” that only makes you feel worse. Thanks so much for your response. I'll be honest I haven't logged on her in a while but today has been an especially **** day with it being mother's day and as the rest of the world is a constant reminder of what I have lost this felt like a safe space to be. Your message was so king so thank you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TLN Posted March 15, 2021 Members Report Share Posted March 15, 2021 On 12/13/2020 at 10:33 PM, Jolee said: He was kind, funny and very full of life. I still come across people who tell me how great of a man, father and husband he was. My mother never re-married and I’m the only child. She was the most kind hearted....amazing person anyone could have dreamed for to have as their mother. She did her very best raising a young child as a single mom. Jolee, I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my Father. He was kind and larger than life--and amazing too. His death is the hardest thing I have ever or could ever go through. Many times I have wanted to die. But I won't--I refuse to let grief defeat me. I will conquer it; I will see my Father again in Heaven...I just wish it didn't take so long. But it's a journey; and after 3 years this May 2nd, I am just beginning to revive and feel alive again. Understanding is slow going, but it is happening--for me. I pray it is for you as well. TLN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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