An overdose took my mom

[Ehetrick]

Everyone on here is looking for someone to understand their pain, their loss. Combing through all of these forums is exhausting because none actually relate to me. Can anyone please help me? My mother has suffered from addiction for 10+ years. Most of my childhood really. I’ve grown up being the adult to my mother (I’m only twenty), always making sure she was okay and not dead in a ditch somewhere. The one moment I left, she overdosed. Now I’m left to pick up the pieces and no one understands. It’s “oh I’ve lost a mother too” but no, you haven’t. You haven’t lost one like mine. 

[reader]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you did everything you could to help your mom and keep her going. It is a heavy burden for such a young person. Addiction is a vicious circle and extremely devastating for families. 

 It’s really hard to find the right supports when you’re going through such a difficult time.  I want to suggest this website called grief in common. It offers one on one counselling and zoom support groups. Another good website is a grief healing blog. 

 Please know we are with you. Sending our thoughts and prayers

[Nicole-my grief journey]

My heart goes out to you. I was the first one of friends to lose my mom. It was (and still is at times) painful for me that others around me can’t relate. I relate to you that I lost my mom and about 6months before her, I lost my brother to addiction. The anniversary of that is this weekend. I tried for a little over 10yrs to help him. I couldn’t reach him and went to his place and that was it. He was gone. I’ve picked up the pieces after him for everyone and then we found out my mom had terminal cancer and I was left to pick up those pieces too. I have deep empathy for you and what your experiencing. I didn’t know how I was going to go forward. I just went min by min, then hour to hour and day by day. I made myself have an hour with therapy every week. I also do free Alanon and Naranon meetings. They both have podcasts online of their meetings and online meetings currently. They don’t promote and it was a good friend that sent me that way and I found out that their was an entire group of people with similarities like me (in regard to loving and losing people to addiction). And then, Grief counseling has helped me continue to go forward and learn ways to cope. I know you took care of your mom and so I want to mention that I learned about how being a parentified child has affected me through my therapist. I think about my mom and brother a lot and things replay in my mind about could something different have happened? If I could have changed outcomes? I felt tremendous guilt and sadness and like I could have stopped things if I had just tried harder. Now that I have a little time behind me, I know I couldn’t have and that I did the best that I could...that I loved them, cared for them and what happened was not because I did or didn’t do something. I’m sending big hugs your way. I know you’re in the dark right now but just keep hanging on. Grief transforms. I know that sounds cliche, but I’m still here. I repeat to myself that I will adapt. I will grieve and adapt. 

[ValentineX3]

On 11/23/2020 at 10:01 PM, Ehetrick said:

Everyone on here is looking for someone to understand their pain, their loss. Combing through all of these forums is exhausting because none actually relate to me. Can anyone please help me? My mother has suffered from addiction for 10+ years. Most of my childhood really. I’ve grown up being the adult to my mother (I’m only twenty), always making sure she was okay and not dead in a ditch somewhere. The one moment I left, she overdosed. Now I’m left to pick up the pieces and no one understands. It’s “oh I’ve lost a mother too” but no, you haven’t. You haven’t lost one like mine. 

I've been searching for somebody that can relate to my grief. I lost my mum to an overdose at 19 im 22 now. Losing a parent is already immensely difficult, but i do think this way especially with everything that  has happened  before it leaves you with so many more confusing and conflicting emotions. If you do want to talk let me know.