One day

[BBB]

I know that the 'one day at a time' advice is solid but I find it so very difficult to do. I am a planner, logical by nature and it is so so very hard for me to NOT think about the future. Granted, bad thoughts come to mind like living and being alone for the rest of my days, never seeing/talking to my wife (never is a long time). Is there a trick to it? I find it almost impossible to go through even a single day without thinking about some part of the future, which is mostly not pleasant.

 

[foreverhis]

I'm a planner by nature too.  Sometimes I used to be too much of one, so I do get what you mean.

Is there a trick?  For me, not really.  I'd say repetition, reminding myself as often as necessary to focus on now, right now today, has helped.  I literally tell myself to focus on now, what I'm doing at the moment and what I think I want to do in a day, and to not look far down the road. 

Another thing that has helped is learning to plan the near future.  Doing that lets my much too structured mind say, "Oh boy, let's make a list!" while having that list include only things for the short term.

It's gotten easier with time and repetition, so I guess those are my only two tricks, such as they are.

 

[BBB]

One of the toughest things to realize for me is that all of the plans we made for retirement are gone. I am almost 60 and my wife and I discussed all sorts of things and ideas of how we were going to spend our retirement years. Doing any of those things alone is not even close to being the same. 

[KayC]

I'm also a planner but since George passed I've found I can only handle so much, worrying about the whole rest of my life invites anxiety and is too much!  I do best staying in today, as much as possible.  When my mind starts going beyond that, I remind myself to get back in today, just do today.  Breathe.

35 minutes ago, BBB said:

Doing any of those things alone is not even close to being the same. 

Don't I know it!  This is my life, retired & growing old alone, never got to do any of it with George.  Gone are out camping trips, just everything we did, it's totally different alone.