Members jmmosley53 Posted October 30, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2020 I went to the local craft store in my area with my sisters. It had all the holiday decorations out, and I realized how I was going to face this holiday season without him. My tears just started rolling down my face. Suddenly a women who worked at the store walked up to me and said 'we take tears here, can I give you a hug' . Turns out she had lost her husband a few years before and had overheard my sisters worried comments about me being upset. I was so touched that a total stranger in a store recognized my sorrow and tried to give me support with a little hug and some kind words. It really made me feel better and removed my embarrassment about crying in a public place. Some people can be so kind and give support unexpectedly. (we were all wearing masks). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 30, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted October 30, 2020 It's still hard for me... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/getting-through-the-holidays-when-you-are-newly-bereaved_us_582c7767e4b0466f4579334f? http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/11/coping-with-holidays-suggested.html https://www.refugeingrief.com/2018/12/11/dealing-with-grief-during-the-holidays/ https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/8338-articles-worth-reading/?page=23&tab=comments#comment-143268 https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/9038-tips-for-handling-the-holidays/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted October 30, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2020 That's a lovely story. I have one similar. About a week after my love died, I had to go grocery shopping. I had removed everything possible related to his cancer on the first night I walked into the house truly alone, but there were some fairly expensive supplies not covered by insurance that, being the practical person I am, I decided to return. So I go select items for one (and boy was that hard) and took everything to the checkout. I explained about the things I needed to return, but the clerk (one who's kind of a...you know...anyway) was kind of rude about the fact that I didn't have my receipts. I ultimately broke down crying and she did the return. As I was slowly walking to the car with my little bag of groceries, a women came up to me and said, "I was behind you in line and heard what you said. I'm so sorry. I think you need these." and handed me a beautiful bunch of deep peach roses. I thanked her with tears in my eyes. Even though we live in a fairly small community, I had never met or seen her before. I brought those roses home and said to my husband, "Look honey. A small gift of grace from a stranger." I put them in his favorite vase and placed them where I could see them all the time. I even saved out petals from them to keep as a reminder that sometimes we receive help when we need it most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 31, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 That is a beautiful story. I believe in stranger kindness and try to do that with others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MODArtemis2019 Posted November 2, 2020 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 Thank you for posting this, to remind us that there are some exceptional, caring people in the world. It makes such a difference. In my case, it wasn't a stranger, but a neighbor that I didn't know well. She wrote me a lovely note and invited me to walk with her on the weekends. People like this are special; they have a comfort with grief and lack the typical inhibition and unease most of us have about death. Their kindnesses bridge the isolation that is so strong in bereaved people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted November 2, 2020 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 3 hours ago, MODArtemis2019 said: People like this are special; they have a comfort with grief and lack the typical inhibition and unease most of us have about death. They are special. The neighbor friends whose dog visits me and that I walk a few times a week would probably not be as close to me now if it wasn't for two things. My husband and I were getting to know them before his diagnosis AND they lost their daughter at birth. Of everyone in my life, they know this kind of grief best. We've all had friends, parents, grandparents, etc. die, but only one person in my extended family has lost her husband, about 2 years before my love died. She was enormous comfort, but even though she and her husband loved each other and had a long, good marriage, it wasn't like ours. Plus, her husband died from smoking and wouldn't quit even after his first successful surgery. To put it mildly, she was pissed at him when he died. That definitely complicated her grieving. She loves him and misses him, and yet she'd still like to smack him upside the head for leaving her like that. And so when our neighbor friends reached out, they did it with understanding, openly, slowly, and carefully. She especially confided in me how things had been for her. They seem to know just when to nudge a little and when to back off. They want to hear our stories, help me through the toughest days, and are a great comfort. Because they are, our daughter and my sisters are comforted in knowing that I have a little posse of support right here on our block. It includes four other friends, two of whom my husband and I were friendly with for years, one my husband knew better than I did, and one I only recently met. But it's those two friends who truly understand and who are so open about death, loss, and grieving that have made my life better than it would have been--and frankly, I can't imagine how much worse it could have been! It's a grace in my life that I didn't expect. I will never take it for granted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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