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Losing a Therapist


Notallowed

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Posted

On Feb 26th 2019 I lost my therapist, whom I had been seeing since I was 13, I am almost 33 now. It has absolutely devastated me and turned my world upside down. I really looked at him more like a father and it has always felt like I am not really allowed to grieve due to his actual title.

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MODArtemis2019
Posted

I'm very, very sorry for your loss and I fully understand the importance a therapist can have in one's life. You built a relationship with this person over 20 years, sharing your most private thoughts and feelings and no doubt being supported and cared for. Losing a person like this whom you depended upon is very much like losing a parent, I agree.  I hope you were able to share your grief in some way (coming here is one good way to share of course). And if you feel "not allowed" to grieve by other people or society in general, then give yourself permission, please. Your grief is just as real and important as anyone else who has lost someone they love.

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Posted

. I found out at work and ever since people have treated me differently because of who he was (his title) not because of what he meant to me. It has changed my personality and I don't want to shy away from people. I cry so much. I write letters. I am not allowed to talk about it seems. My heart has a hole. I real dad was never really around so KD was really like my dad. I nevee told him that and I regret it.

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MODArtemis2019
Posted

I'm sorry people don't recognize and acknowledge your loss. KD must have been a very special person. I have a feeling he knew how important he was to you, even if you never said it in words. 

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Posted

Thank you I hope so. It sure has changed the way the people look at me at work, maybe because the event has changed me so much. I have become so withdrawn. It is like having a therapist was some sort of bad thing or something.

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MODArtemis2019
Posted

I learned right away not to expect much from people at work. I think it makes them very uncomfortable to acknowledge grieving in the workplace and they just don't know what to say. The fact that your loss is not one traditionally recognized makes it even harder for them, and thus for you. I'm sorry you feel you can't talk about it at work. But the truth is, it might not have been much different even if you had lost your father. Grief and the workplace are uncomfortable partners at best. 

Because of the nature of your relationship, you have the added difficulty (I assume) of not being able to share your grief with others who knew KD. I'm really sorry about that. 

I worry myself about how I will manage if something happens to my therapist. She has been very important to me for a long time. Since my husband passed I have relied on her as a stable anchor in an uncertain ocean. So I can imagine very well what you are going through. 

 

 

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