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How do I get over something like this? -Sudden Death-


Eden'sMom

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I just have one question... How can i move past something like this?? My healthy, beautiful 13 year old daughter suddenly passed away. One day on March 26, 2011, we could not wake her up at all and by 2:30 p.m. she was still sleeping. We brought her to the emergency room and they immediately took her and connected all sorts of machines to her. They told us that her brain had suddenly stopped working in her sleep.... but they've seen only one other case like this and should be able to get her back to being her healthy self. On March 27, 2011 She woke up again ,she didn't seem brain dead, she just seemed very sick and weak and I could tell that something terrible would happen that day. She weakly smiled at me squeezed my hand and whispered "Mom" then she closed her eyes again. She never woke up again , she passed away that day. Is it impossible to move past this?

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Hello and just know my heart flew out to you... so a big hug too.. I lost my son nearly a year ago and I know why...but to walk in your shoes ..I have a daughter a bit younger than yours and I thought about this happening to me..unimaginable grief at the very idea. How do you get over something like this...is the question and Im going to draw more on a friend of mine who lost her 14 year old daughter in a very similar way. She told me this..""You dont get over it the best thing to do is not even to try as there is just no way you can get over it....but you learn to live with what happened" That is the journey you must take, how do you live with it, what do I need to do for me to be able to get up and move forward. I believe that our loved ones are up ahead of us.. I believe in moving forward so that the time is not about how long they have been missing but how much closer everyday, every minute we are to being reunited with them. I carry my son in my heart and I know too that he is safe. I really worked on learning and believing that my son is safe and does not have anything to harm him. I also believe that all life force returns to the creator so I picture this. Oh how I wish to find the words to comfort you. I sort of went on a mission to learn how to accept what happened to Ben. I decided to find out everything I could about his last moments. I read everything and that includes the autopsy report the accident report, looked at every little thing. When I stopped trying to rush the grief process along because I just wanted to get out the other side of it.. I slowed down and went with it more, but I followed through on my life..I also made a heartfelt mental decision to choose to live..because in my thinking in order to see Ben again I need to live this life course through. So choose life and honor your daughter..look forward and feel the excitement of a reunion with her. Keep a journal so you remember to tell her and show her the things she missed out on.. I keep one for Ben it really helps and I draw in it and paint in it too. Make it a beautiful thing for your daughter. Put little things in like hair bits and bobs, jewellery anything you might think she likes... be active in your journey that no one wants to take but dont let it control you ...you choose how you want this journey to go . Your little girl existed and will exist always... I found wonderful marks on this earth of Bens existence...on Google earth a big skid mark in the driveway of where he lived where he left his mark with his motorbike a couple of years ago..oh how excited his girlfriend and I were to find this..take photos of marks your daughter left here too and put them in the journal..you will find them and they will appear in the funniest of places.

Just dont sit there waiting to get over it..it wont happen darling mum.. get actively involved in the grief process and I promise you it will really help. Yes you will have tears and yes you will smile.. I am here if you need and I am happy to listen and help if I can... Accept there is no way out of this word of pain but learn to take the edge off it for yourself. Im doing really well and its not yet a year...but Ive made a promise to myself not to just let it overcome me ..I had no control when I lost Ben just as you had none but Im sure not going to let the pain of losing him control me now either... hugs and hugs Michelle xxxooo

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I just have one question... How can i move past something like this?? My healthy, beautiful 13 year old daughter suddenly passed away. One day on March 26, 2011, we could not wake her up at all and by 2:30 p.m. she was still sleeping. We brought her to the emergency room and they immediately took her and connected all sorts of machines to her. They told us that her brain had suddenly stopped working in her sleep.... but they've seen only one other case like this and should be able to get her back to being her healthy self. On March 27, 2011 She woke up again ,she didn't seem brain dead, she just seemed very sick and weak and I could tell that something terrible would happen that day. She weakly smiled at me squeezed my hand and whispered "Mom" then she closed her eyes again. She never woke up again , she passed away that day. Is it impossible to move past this?

Eden'sMom,

I am so very very sorry about the loss of your daughter. There are many parents here who have lost their precious children. They will be able to offer you guidance, support and encouragement as you learn to move forward centimeter by centimeter. My heart breaks for you. I am sure you are still completely confused and dazed by this all.

Please know there are people here you will be able to lean on. We will be here for you.

Come tell us all about your beautiful daughter when you feel up to it. We will be looking for you.

ModKonnie

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