Members Retrodee412 Posted July 11, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 11, 2020 I’m miserable. Can’t take care of myself. I take great care of my cat, Sookie. My cat must see mom’s spirit in the master bedroom. She’s always in there and sleeps in there all night long. For the first time since mom died I changed the litter boxes. I’ve had friends do it for me since I’m chronically sick physically. For instance, my friend Katherine and her wife will be here in an hour or so to take the bags of garbage to the dumpster for me. My back gave out while pulling up the bag full of used adult diapers I’m embarrassed to admit I have to wear. Mom’s death took a bad toll on my mental & physical health. Battled breast cancer for nine months. Only took chemo pills. Never needed surgery and radiation. I thank mom for making my tumors disappear in my left breast. I don’t eat much more than breakfast. I’m either throwing up from grief or in too much physical pain or I have no money to buy food. My partner tries to give me money to eat, but I just save it for cigarettes. Might see my estranged big brother on Sunday with my sister in law and nephew. We stopped talking 20 years ago over stupid made up untruths. He surely got a rude awakening when mom died. He doesn’t know the extent of how much I need him in my life. The cancer spread to my bones to the point, I’m now, losing my hair. My last update on here I was 162lbs. Now I’m 118lbs and not from not eating much. It’s the real chemo. No surgery needed. Only chemo and radiation I was told will help. My prognosis is not what I expected. I have maybe 10 months to 14 months left. I had to change my diet to fiber rich and iron rich foods. When I snack, it’s jerky, crackers, fruit, cream cheese celery, or other veggies. Sorry for this being so long. I have no one in my life that cares. And no one to help me except strangers. Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted July 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 Dear Retrodee412, I'm terribly sorry to hear about everything you have gone through. Please know people care about you and want to help. I hope you will consider reaching out to a social worker or caregiver that can help you access more resources in the community or through church or your local cancer support organization. There are a good people in the world even though they are hard to find. Please know we are with you. Sending my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Peony Posted July 19, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 Hello Retrodee, I'm so sorry that you have had so much to cope with and live through. I think you are a very strong person to have been through the loss of your mother and now battling cancer. I too hope you can get some support from community resources, maybe your medical team can refer you. You need and deserve all the support available, you have been through so much already. Please take care of yourself, your diet change is a great start and you can do this, you are stronger than you think.... you are in my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Retrodee412 Posted September 12, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted September 12, 2020 Dear Retrodee412, I'm terribly sorry to hear about everything you have gone through. Please know people care about you and want to help. I hope you will consider reaching out to a social worker or caregiver that can help you access more resources in the community or through church or your local cancer support organization. There are a good people in the world even though they are hard to find. Please know we are with you. Sending my thoughts and prayers. I’m sorry for replying so late after I posted this. I had a major car accident in my mom’s car on July 28th 2020. Totaled the car, sadly. I was hit deliberately for the driver to collect insurance money. Sad to say, there was no insurance on the car and I have no driver’s license out of stupidity. I have a lawyer who has a copy of my mom’s Will. Everything goes to me including the car. I’ve made plans for my mom’s car. Having it towed here at my home. Emptying its contents and seeing if it’s fixable. I have two mechanics that are willing to fix it. One for free and my friend at the garage a half mile from me on a month to month basis. I have two cracked ribs and a hairline fracture of my sternum from the deployment of the air bags & impact. It’s a long sick and sad story, but getting the car will bring closure to me of my mom’s passing.Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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