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Abuse, Pending Decision On Divorce

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It's been a really difficult 3 months.  My husband is emotionally abusive and has been since the start of this marriage.  I am always on pins and needles waiting for the next time he is going to emotionally stab me in the back.  I've stayed in the relationship because I didn't want to grow old alone, and because I am better off financially with him then without him.   But, the things he has done and said... I think I just have to accept that there is no hope and go forward with the divorce.  

It would mean having to change my plans.  It would mean having to quit my job and move, because the job does not pay enough to live in this city.  It would mean having to change expectations for my retirement.  I don't think I will be able to stop working and I worry that I won't be able to get another job.

We've contacted a marriage counselor.  He is already starting his BS trying to manipulate the psychologist.  I really don't think a marriage counselor will be able to change his abusive ways.  I've also contacted a therapist to see if she will help me through these emotions.

It has just been a difficult time facing the obvious and making the choice to go ahead with it.  I am feeling really raw.

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I know how you feel.  I have been with the same man for 23 years.  The first six were great and so we got married.  They in 2011, I started experiencing lots of loss through death.  I went through this alone although my partner said he helped me so much.  Since then, we have gotten divorced because is did not want me t9 take his money even though we did not share our money.  In august 9f 2018, I left h8m for a month and needed support and the only people who were there for me were his son and daughter-in-law. This totally blew up in my face and t9 this very day, he blames me for all the issues in our relationship.  I made amends with everyone but my partner of 23 years who will never forgive me for that betrayal and brings it up frequently, at least two times a month.  We have lived together since the divorce but now I am having such a difficult time being blame and not knowing what t9 d9 and walking on pins and needles all the time.  With COVID, I am hesitant to make a huge change, but the emotional abuse is too much.  So any advice from anyone would be helpful.  I am hurting severely and have no one to turn to for help because everyone is tired of hearing about it when I can’t make a decision to totally leave h8m.

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