Mom passed away May 3rd 2020

[mizzrosebud86]

She passed away on the 3rd of May from mestatic laryngeal cancer that she had been battling since 2017. She was 55 years old. I sat with her while she took her last breath. My sisters and I took care of mom for around the clock from February 26th (when she started hospice) until she passed away. 

I feel so empty. There was so much she talked about doing she will never be able to do. I hurt, like it physically hurts, deep down and I want to call her or go see her but I know that I will never be able to. I feel like I am in a bad dream and I can't wake up. 

Will I ever be normal because I don't know. I walk around smiling on the outside and falling apart on the inside. 

[reader]

Dear mizzrosebud86,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. During this difficult time it is only natural to feel raw and empty. Be kind to yourself and know that it will take a long time to grieve your beloved mom. The first year is the hardest. I hope you'll surround yourself with loving friends and family. And know there are supports in the community or through church that can help during this sad time. 

My grief counselor told me that most people start to feel a little better sometime around the 18 month mark, but there is no fixed timeline.

Thinking of you.