Too broken to go on???

[jtrudeau]

I don't know how I can possibly move on from this, and part of me doesn't want to. Every morning I wake up I'm sad that I woke up at all!!! Michael will be gone 5wks tomorrow and this deep deep sorrow and physical pain I feel is consuming me. This is just not right and I don't know how I will survive this ??? I can't even type because I start crying too much I can't see the screen. Michael Scott....was my heart and my soul and I miss him with my whole being........Jackie

[westleysmom]

Jackie-I'm so sorry that the pain is so bad right now. Early on it was that way more than it is now a year and a half later. I hope that helps you to have some hope. It still hurts unbelievably at times, but not all the time. I think that we have to go through that to get to the other side, and its just so painful and seems that it will never get any better. And then one day, you find a tiny little smile on your own face and you don't know how it happened. That is Michael in the ice cream picture, and who else? He looks so happy. I try to think that wherever Westley is, he's happy and safe and smiling and waiting for me. That one day we'll be together again, and it will be as if this was the bad dream that I wish it to be. Sometimes mind games are all that gets me through. I used to pretend he was away at school, or joined the army or something, like he talked about. And he'd be home soon, I could make it one day without him, couldn't I? Sometimes I still do that, mostly I just try to stay as busy as I can and long holiday weekends are really hard for me because there's not enough to do. Well, I'm rambling now, but holding you close in my thoughts and wishing you strengh to make it through each day as it comes. Hugs

[ModKonnie]

I don't know how I can possibly move on from this, and part of me doesn't want to. Every morning I wake up I'm sad that I woke up at all!!! Michael will be gone 5wks tomorrow and this deep deep sorrow and physical pain I feel is consuming me. This is just not right and I don't know how I will survive this ??? I can't even type because I start crying too much I can't see the screen. Michael Scott....was my heart and my soul and I miss him with my whole being........Jackie

Jackie,

I am so sorry for the loss of Michael Scott. There are many parents here who have lost their beloved children. They will be able to offer you support, encouragement and advice that only those who have suffered such profound loss can understand. Of course you miss him with your whole being. He is a part of you that no one will ever be able to take away, regardless of anything. At this point, I am sure you are simply trying to get through each hour as best as you can. If you need to cry, then keep crying.

Do you work outside of your home? Are they supportive? Do you have any type of support at home such as friends, family, spiritual leader?

We will be here for you. You can vent, rage, cry and talk all you want.

ModKonnie