My son

[petrina]

I lost my only son, Philip, on October 27th of 2009. Each day is glass shards in my heart. He was my closest friend. My husband, not his father, was horribly jealous of my son and could not understand how or why we were so close. The last two years of Phil's life he suffered from horrible migraine headaches that could barely be controlled by medication caused by a motorcycle accident . He had acupuncture, chiropractic, doctors, tests, clinics in and out of town and hundreds of miles away in another state. One doctor would give him medication for a while and then kick him off of practice because they could not control his pain. We tried many doctors, hospitals and treatments and he always held on. He was thirty-one and needed to live on his own. He closest friend was his bulldog and they were inseparable. My son's friends who were young and healthy quit calling on him. Even his own father stopped calling him two weeks before he died because he said he could not relate to his problems. In the end , it was my son and I holding tight to each other. Two days before he died I took him to the hospital to try to get another headache under control. They sent him home twenty-four hours later and he was marginally better. I spent part of the morning he died with him. I went to the grocery store and came back and he was resting. When I came back two hours later he was dead. I did CPR until the paramedics came and they refused to resuscitate him. I have no brothers, sisters or other close relatives. My husband does not know why I am still mourning and my ex and I do not speak, his choice, not mine. I have no one with whom to share my pain and I am really not looking forward to next weekend.

Still crying.

[charsng1234]

Hi my name is sharon I am sorry of your loss of your son. I lost my son shane this year he was 22 You are not alone on this road your life now has you on. I am sorry you have no family and your husband does not get it. My children our my life.. My husband is very good and understands he was not shane father step father but he loves all my kids. Please keep coming back here to talk to ppl. I will check in to see when you post just talk everyday if you need to this site will help you get through this.

sharon shanes mom.

[mikesmum]

J-Petrina - Am so sorry for the loss of your son Philip. My name is Trudi and I lost my eldest son Micheal over 4yrs ago. The price to belong here is far to great, but once here you will find great understanding, support and a place where you can talk about your sons life.

We mainly post on the Loss of an Adult page. There you will find parents who have lost their only child and many more.

The crying, well at 4yrs I can say its eased, but it returns without warning.....I was told once the level of the 'grief' we feel is reflective of the love we have for our children.....I believe that to be true.

I'm so sad that Philips dad isnt more of a support, that you feel alone. Here that feeling gets wrapped up in the understanding other Indigo have for each other.

Take Care of yourself......Trudi

[ModKonnie]

I lost my only son, Philip, on October 27th of 2009. Each day is glass shards in my heart. He was my closest friend. My husband, not his father, was horribly jealous of my son and could not understand how or why we were so close. The last two years of Phil's life he suffered from horrible migraine headaches that could barely be controlled by medication caused by a motorcycle accident . He had acupuncture, chiropractic, doctors, tests, clinics in and out of town and hundreds of miles away in another state. One doctor would give him medication for a while and then kick him off of practice because they could not control his pain. We tried many doctors, hospitals and treatments and he always held on. He was thirty-one and needed to live on his own. He closest friend was his bulldog and they were inseparable. My son's friends who were young and healthy quit calling on him. Even his own father stopped calling him two weeks before he died because he said he could not relate to his problems. In the end , it was my son and I holding tight to each other. Two days before he died I took him to the hospital to try to get another headache under control. They sent him home twenty-four hours later and he was marginally better. I spent part of the morning he died with him. I went to the grocery store and came back and he was resting. When I came back two hours later he was dead. I did CPR until the paramedics came and they refused to resuscitate him. I have no brothers, sisters or other close relatives. My husband does not know why I am still mourning and my ex and I do not speak, his choice, not mine. I have no one with whom to share my pain and I am really not looking forward to next weekend.

Still crying.

Phils Mom,

I am so very very sorry about the loss of Phil. There are many people here who have lost their children, and they know the utter anguish and despair that you have suffered. They will be able to help you in ways that others who have never experienced such profound grief can't. We have a warm, welcoming community. You have someone now to share your pain. We will all be here with you. Next weekend will be tough for many mothers and those who have lost their mother. My best friend's mother passed on mother's day. It's a particularly rough day for her, too.

We are here for you, and we look forward to hearing all about Phil, when you are ready.

ModKonnie