Members Missy1 Posted February 16, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2020 Has anyone experienced people who all of a sudden are very interested in what you’re gonna do with your husband’s vehicle or if you need someone to move in to your big house that you built your whole life with your husband so they can enjoy all the luxuries that you sacrificed for? just people looking for anything that they might get from the widow, surly she no longer needs all that stuff!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 16, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 16, 2020 I've got one that beats that! Our "friends" Nettie and LeRoy...they didn't visit George in the hospital, nope, they came to the hospital AFTER he died and told me he promised them his car! I told them "Too bad he didn't remember he had a car payment!" I was so mad! How ballsy! We had $120 in the bank, we'd been trying to get life insurance but they billed us more than quoted so I was fighting with them about it...when he died. There went that. I got thousands dollars of hospital/doctor/ambulance bills and the hospital down my neck, I remortgaged my house to pay for it, they'd been threatening me with 29% interest I couldn't afford. Years later I found out I wouldn't have been responsible for it and they well knew it. Yeah, all I needed was "friends" coming out like leeches. His brother Manley wrote me from prison wanting his coin collection for HIS son! George no longer had said coin collection, but if he had had it, he had his own kids and so did I, and all these bills to pay and my income just cut in half...I lost my job shortly thereafter, oh and it was the start of the recession and I faced age discrimination. Tell you what, I wrote his brother back in prison, told him George no longer had a coin collection, but he had a bunch of hospital bills if he wanted something to remember him by! Never heard from him again. Good riddance. He always played George, well he wasn't playing me. George was the older brother, well they were grown men, Manley needed to learn to fend for himself. About time. Put yourself first, no one else will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 16, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2020 Wow, death really brings out those greedy evil people, insincere and disgusting people . I feel your pain apparently suicide death is a big exclusion in our little life insurance plan, I get zip just pain. Sorry you had to deal with all that drama. Wishing better times ahead, I think this is bad as it gets, hopefully... seriously, we’re still alive that was your husband and your life, everything Is still ours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 17, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 One thought I hold onto is that the only thing that happened is his body gave out...our love didn't. And for your husband, it was the same only it was mentally brought about. I had a coworker I'd known since he was a little boy (I taught Sunday School to him) that commit suicide, he was my boss' son. It was very hard because he was getting help and they were going to switch his medication Monday but this was Sunday and he didn't feel he could wait. It haunts you forever, but I know his family did everything possible to help him, unfortunately it didn't stop it. No one knew he'd commit suicide, I don't think that's something you can foresee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 17, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 Thank you, really helps, people have to want to accept the help that’s offered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heart&Soul Posted February 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2020 My husband had a couple of vehicles and lots of high end tools. I do feel somewhat vulnerable when I have friends or family come by because I feel like they expect me to give them things. I can't explain the feeling but I feel like I am obliged to give them possessions or money if they come to help me with something. When my husband was in the hospital and family would come to visit - some of them wouldn't pay for the parking but mention that they "forgot" to buy parking and then I would feel obliged to go pay for their parking on my credit card. I was literally paying for parking every single day for the visitors! I would also feel obliged to buy their coffee and lunch as well. I went through a lot of money during that 3 month period, but I felt like I had to because they were showing up to see my husband. Now I only have one income (my own) and I need to be careful with my money, but I still feel such pressure to always buy lunch or dinner if they come to see me or we get together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted February 21, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 On 2/16/2020 at 3:29 PM, Missy1 said: I feel your pain apparently suicide death is a big exclusion in our little life insurance plan, I get zip just pain. On a purely practical note, please read the policy carefully if you haven't already done so. Often the "suicide clause" is only valid for a certain amount of time after the policy has been issued. If it's the insurer telling you that suicide is excluded, do not take their statements at face value. Make them prove it in the policy itself. It must be stated plainly. They are not allowed to just make it a "customary" thing. They must go by the written terms only. If there is ambiguity, the courts usually side with the beneficiary/policy holder because they've ruled that it is up to the insurer to make the language clear and specific. If you've already done that and it's true that suicide is excluded in your situation, all I can say is that I'm very sorry you have one more thing to add to your pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Thank you in fact I intend to fight it if they deny me because I put him in alcohol rehab and they prescribe some anti-anxiety drugs that are well-known because depression so between him being under the influence of these drugs and the alcohol he had no idea what he did to himself and would never have willfully hurt himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 5 hours ago, Heart&Soul said: My husband had a couple of vehicles and lots of high end tools. I do feel somewhat vulnerable when I have friends or family come by because I feel like they expect me to give them things. I can't explain the feeling but I feel like I am obliged to give them possessions or money if they come to help me with something. When my husband was in the hospital and family would come to visit - some of them wouldn't pay for the parking but mention that they "forgot" to buy parking and then I would feel obliged to go pay for their parking on my credit card. I was literally paying for parking every single day for the visitors! I would also feel obliged to buy their coffee and lunch as well. I went through a lot of money during that 3 month period, but I felt like I had to because they were showing up to see my husband. Now I only have one income (my own) and I need to be careful with my money, but I still feel such pressure to always buy lunch or dinner if they come to see me or we get together. Exactly I my husband has everything & anything he wanted under the sun he had power tools of every type in size including pressure washers chainsaws, giant tool boxes on wheels, tons of power tools. And I don’t know how to use them but I’m sure I these will be needed to maintain the house at some point but I would rather sell every single one of those items and let a bunch of scavengers and vultures take them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 21, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 @Heart&Soul If you feel you owe it to these people to pay for them, work on getting over that because you can't afford it. And they may be so used to you doing that, they've come to expect it...they need to get over that. If they look to you to pay, tell them your circumstances have changed and you CAN'T! They'll adjust. Don't feel you owe them any of his things, they are yours, the two of you worked for them, they're what you have left of him and it's totally up to you to decide who gets what and when IF you want to. But that's on down the road and not something you should feel compelled to do at any given point in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heart&Soul Posted February 21, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 12 hours ago, Missy1 said: And I don’t know how to use them but I’m sure I these will be needed to maintain the house at some point but I would rather sell every single one of those items and let a bunch of scavengers and vultures take them! I remember my husband telling me that when his mother passed away (when he was a teenager) - the ladies of the extended family came by and took all his mothers pots, dishes & cooking appliances - they just came and helped themselves. His mother loved cooking and had all the latest appliances etc, My husband, his father and brother were all in shock with her death - which was unexpected, so they were in a very vulnerable state. For my husband to mention this to me when we got married implies this really hurt him. I don't know why people feel the need to exploit people when they are at their lowest point. @KayC Thank you for your advice - I truly appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 21, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 The day of my husband's funeral someone came to my house uninvited (who the hell does that, it's not a good time for a "visit" esp. from someone who is not close to you and you don't even like!) and grabbed his hat off it's hook and exclaimed, "I want his hat!!!" I snatched it right back and held it to me, and said, "No, it's HIS!" How dare she! Truth be told he didn't even like her! She was his friend's GF, someone he just tolerated for his friend's sake. WTH are they thinking?! I'm his WIFE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 That is appalling! I am going sell off as much of my high end stuff as possible. Pear down to min. Keeping the stuff that was his of course. Then when I die there won’t be much to fight over. I guess I need a will to exclude the known scum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted February 21, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 18 hours ago, Missy1 said: Thank you in fact I intend to fight it if they deny me because I put him in alcohol rehab and they prescribe some anti-anxiety drugs that are well-known because depression so between him being under the influence of these drugs and the alcohol he had no idea what he did to himself and would never have willfully hurt himself I'm glad to hear it. If there are any legal advice or justice centers near you, you might be able to get a pro bono 30 minute consult. At a minimum, they might give you some direction and possibly be able to show you specifically where the policy wording is in your favor. I am still fighting with my husband's life insurer about 50% of the policy based on an age reduction that they can't prove actually exists in writing. They are currently ignoring me and I had kind of given up, but I've decided to pick myself up off the mat and try again. It's not a gigantic amount, but it sure would make a difference down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 I am told I have to wait for the official denials, then I can start the fight, it all takes so long. I will probably have to do bankruptcy an hopefully keep paying my house stay in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted February 22, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 I’m going to see if I can find some volunteer opportunities to help with the coronavirus over seas. As I understand it they are excepting volunteers. I just signed up to help. We shall see, I may not have to live to see 2021 and I would’ve served my purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 If/when you file bankruptcy, talk to your lawyer about if you end up getting some life insurance after the battle over it, how that would be affected by bankruptcy. What you are contemplating (hoping to get Coronavirus and die) is called passive suicide. I hope you'll reconsider. It can take professional help to get through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.