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today was a benifit for ians cancer , and its just so har


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i cant stop thinking about him
i know its ok to feel this way , but it doesn’t feel ok
it feels like a kick in the head
I feel sad , and salty, and sensitive
and worried all the time , like who’s gonna get sick next
 and a month ago my grandma had a heart attack , 3 days before ians 4 months deathavursary
so thats on top of my grief for ian 
and its just so hard

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