WAITING FOR MY MOTHER'S ASHES!

[Diana R]

Have you have to wait for a love ones ashes?  I'm new here. I don't know if I'm doing this right or not. My mother passed away 1/15/20. Yesterday her ashes were suppose to get here but they didn't. I waited all day. Some problem in the priority mail. I'm sitting by my window, waiting for the USPS track to pull up. My feelings are all over the place.  I never thought I would be sitting here waiting for my mother's ashes ( i'm finishing writing this many hours later) As I was writing this, the truck pulled up. The lady gave me the white box. It has my husbankd's  name on it along with my mohter's name. I take it and collapse on the couch, hold it tide close to my heart and feel like I'm going to die. I'm crying like crazy. My husband is sitting next to me. I can't believe this is all that remains of my mother. A few hours later I put her in a save place. I'm making arrangements to bury her with my sister who passed away from cancer 15yrs ago.  How does anybody get through this? I know grieve but nothing like this. The waves of pain, the craziness.  When I was 16 yrs old my nephew who was 5 yrs old at the time died of Leukemia at home. I was there with him when he passed. 15 yrs ago my dad completed suicide , My sister who had been diagnose with breast cancer died in my arms 6 months later. I know grieve, I know pain. This time it feels the worst. It's so raw. It hurts too much.  I arrived on 1/11/20 to where my mother lived with my sister, about 2 hrs away by plane from here. My sister's said my mother was dying. They were hoping I would make it there on time. I did but because of a lot of issues with the family. we left the house before my mother passed. I  took my son,daughter, and husband out of a very toxic situation. I wanted my mother to die with piece and love.  My mother and I often compared stories of almost dying in the past. Going through the white light. I wanted to be there. We knew the experience. We both were told to come back had a lot to do still. We had never been afraid to die but knew wanted to be there for each other in case the situation arise. I could NOT be there.  So sorry for that. 

[Diana R]

Valorie, thank you, for your comforting words!