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simply resource shares


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These are simply a share.  Some may find some meaning in them others may not.  A couple of colleagues had passed these on to me that they have found helpful with some of their clients.  I did a scan before deciding to share and as in anything only you can decide.  I am no longer actively practicing. With that being said I haven't used these as a hands on resource in an ongoing practice. 



you can access this way or if you are on Facebook search One Fit Widow

I did read one article: Stifled Grief.  

Not any of this is new to any of you but I did appreciate her presentation.


Lastly it has been debated often in this forum: The stages of grief.  I think we all know grief is not linear.

David Kessler has published a new book "Finding Meaning:  The Sixth Stage of Grief.  

I studied under teachers who were students of Kubler Ross.  I was never taught that these stages were linear nor that everyone will experience each stage.  As with anything teachers, students, followers can misinterpret the initial substance of written/verbal shares.

I am reading this book.  Did my career experience and knowledge make my grief any easier?  No.  Grief is one "hot mess" for everyone. 

I decided to take on this read because I now ask myself this question a lot!   "How do I find meaning after experiencing what I experienced for 35 years."  My life was full on all levels.

We were interdependent yet dependent.  The interdependent was the uniqueness of us.  That aspect took work, trust, respect and understanding. Yet we did it! We were tagged as "water and oil that blended beautifully" by those that grew up with us and by those who knew us in later years. 

As I pulled out some journals over the weekend to scan from previous years (my journaling started in 1979) I read "the weekend was bliss." "we create so much in simplicity." It made me smile when I read those entries. A smile that can still be shared with that "deep pit right in the gut pain."   I share simply the essence of what I experienced in my partnership.  Yes I was blessed on so many levels.  I know that in finding meaning there will be that part of my soul that will grieve forever.  I'm not rushing the search to find meaning. We can't rush. When we rush we do not do well.  At least I don't think so.  I may not find it in this lifetime but I will try. 

In Love and Light





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I think that is the thing I struggle with the most, finding any meaning in my life.  Yes, I am only 1 1/2 years into this but I keep asking myself, what am I going to do for the rest of my life?  Right now, I work to pay the bills and help my two daughters out as much as I can.  Although I'm happy to do it, there really isn't much fulfillment in there for me.  For example, today I will work both my jobs, get home around 8:30 tonight, blow out my driveway AGAIN (Minnesota) and go to bed.  I'm glad to be busy but, it's not fulfilling at all.  I feel like I'm never going to find my true inner joy again.  Even if it's different, is it still even there or did it die with Randy? 

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I'm sure it's individual for everyone, but for myself, I've found what I call small joys since my big joy (George) is gone, it's fleeting but I'll take what I can get.  It takes effort to get there but yes in time we can have bits of joy and purpose in our lives again. It in no way compares to life before, at least not for me.  But given any reason to smile, I'll take it.

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