Wish you were here

[only]

My entire day has been off and my dad kept coming up in my thoughts, it was not I should call but just a feeling of him today,maybe I should have called?Maybe it did not matter?Too many shoulds and what ifs right now.My dad had lung cancer and died today. I didnt know he even had cancer and I cant remember his birthday or his exact age. Makes me wonder what kind of person am I? He was a very private man and kept to him self most of the time. He worked hard and actually kept working till last week. Hospice was going to come to his house today, his roommate reminded him and he told me he was tired and to wake him when they get their. Well 30 mins later he was gone. He died alone which breaks my heart but I think he wanted it that way. He was my father, he loved me and would have been there for me anytime. He was private and there are so many questions I will never be able to ask him, I cannot hug him or even tell him I love him and good by. we had not talked since xmas, we never talked much he really didn't care for talking. I should have called and found out what was wrong. I don't even know what to do or how to do a funeral. Can I stay at his house with his roomate? got a hotel? rambling and not sure what to say except Im sad and angry and so upset.

I dont understand why he did not tell me

[ModKonnie]

My entire day has been off and my dad kept coming up in my thoughts, it was not I should call but just a feeling of him today,maybe I should have called?Maybe it did not matter?Too many shoulds and what ifs right now.My dad had lung cancer and died today. I didnt know he even had cancer and I cant remember his birthday or his exact age. Makes me wonder what kind of person am I? He was a very private man and kept to him self most of the time. He worked hard and actually kept working till last week. Hospice was going to come to his house today, his roommate reminded him and he told me he was tired and to wake him when they get their. Well 30 mins later he was gone. He died alone which breaks my heart but I think he wanted it that way. He was my father, he loved me and would have been there for me anytime. He was private and there are so many questions I will never be able to ask him, I cannot hug him or even tell him I love him and good by. we had not talked since xmas, we never talked much he really didn't care for talking. I should have called and found out what was wrong. I don't even know what to do or how to do a funeral. Can I stay at his house with his roomate? got a hotel? rambling and not sure what to say except Im sad and angry and so upset.

I dont understand why he did not tell me

Hi only,

I am terribly sorry about your father. He may have not wanted you to know he was sick. Sometimes, that's just the way parents act.

If Hospice was already involved, and he was going to be a patient there, they may be able to offer you help on what to do. If not, contact a funeral home that you've heard is reputable and they should offer you assistance.

Does your father's roommate know about his personal finances? If not, if you are his only family, you will have to look through his personal files to sort them out and find his will, his life insurance policy (if he has one) and other pertinent information.

As the roommate if you can stay with him/her until you get things sorted.

Tell your employer what has happened. The HR department may have resources available to you. Do you have friends? other family? Get them involved.

I know you are upset and devastated. You will get through this. We will be waiting to hear from you.

ModKonnie

[agnaq111809]

Hello. I too am very sorry about your father's passing. It's ok to feel numb right now.

The administrator has given you some things to follow through.

If you have not done so, have your dad's friend help you contact any relatives.

Funeral homes are great in preparing your father's funeral arrangements.

I know this is hard but they have to be done.

Usually in my region, depending on close family's whereabouts, if there are funds available for them to come to the funeral or memorial, it

may take up to a week or so. If they're all close, like in the same place, then maybe 3-5 days.

A lot of this can be taken care of if your father left a will. ie. regular funeral where his body is buried or will he be cremated?

Even if he will be cremated, the funeral home can help with a memorial at their place. They usually have all the equipment ready for

such events that go with their preparations.

I pray that your father's friend is with you and help you with this.

As to not knowing about your father being sick with lung cancer, my mother went quick too after we found out. Sometimes I think

the 'shock' would've kept her from saying anything for we had only 5 weeks since finding out. It takes time to accept this kind of situation.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Thank God for your father and your time with him here on earth.