Cant believe he's gone

[Dani]

My dad was diagnosed with liver disease from military service a few years ago. Since that time, he suffered many set backs that hospitalized him so very many times. His ammonia level was always so very high, and it would cause him to be disoriented and at times combative. It was so very hard to see him like this, but we learned to live with it. It was better than the alternative (us losing him). The very last day in November, dad was admitted once again into the hospital with ammonia levels so high we were told he probably wouldnt recover. Amazingly though he did! And his ammonia level was the lowest it had been in YEARS! We were so happy to have him home and so very healthy at Christmas last year. It was an amazing time!

On January 9th, 2011 I got the call that I was dreading. Dad was being life flighted to a nearby hospital. When we got there, we knew this was going to be bad. They found out very quickly my dad had had huge brain hemorrhage. They immediately began the task of trying to remove the blood and pressure in his brain. We were told that if he didnt wake up by that evening, he more than likely wont ever. We all hoped for the best, but I knew in my heart he was gone.

Two days later we received the news that all the reflexes he came in with were all gone now. He had none. He was pronounced brain dead. My mom, my brother and I asked for him to be removed off the life support and to let him go. He was only 72 years old when his heart finally stopped beating on 1-11-11. This was by far the hardest day of my life.

It hasnt gotten any easier either. He and I were super close. And was the best person EVER! He didnt know a stranger and would do anything for anyone - no matter what the cost was. I am trying to get over this but its so hard. I know that time heals the pain, but its hard to think this pain will ever be any less painful even ten years from now. I didnt get to say goodbye and hear him say the same.

I miss him so very much!!!