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Sudden death of my father.. been a 1 and a half year but still

art razel

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Hi. I'm from Korea but couldn't find a proper website for my greiving sharing.

I just am having a hard time dealing with the rest of my family.

We were not in good terms while he was alive.

And most of the times I was lonely and isolated from the family.

Then he has gone like that suddenly.

He had a short phone talk with me before he went to emergency room.

He had a breathing problem before. 

He got angry on me while we were talking on the phone and he said some bad words and hung up. From that moment he started to feel really difficult to breath,

according to my mom. 

Then, my family gathered to the hospital room, where other patients and their family members were also there.

Just like that he died. 

I was so shocked and coudln't do anything. I wanted to scream so much, but couldn't. 

The doctors and nurses tried to remove me off from his bed, saying they needed to move him to the other place soon.

Then my mom and brother got silent and didn't do or say much. I couldn't scream because of the atmosphere.

Then after that my family members acted so calm as if it's not an insane things which just happened. 

They behaved so normally towards me, as if they are not sad. Since then I am having a serious relationship problem with them.

Emotions are blocked and I got crazy, mentally mad. 





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Hi Art Razel

I am sorry for the loss of your precious dad. 

You say you have problems with the reaction of your family when your dad died and that you were a long time isolated from the family.Maybe your brother and mother knew more about his healt issues so they were more prepared to deal with his dead?

If thats not the case,you gotta know that grief is very individual and when such a loss happens people often are in shock.It can takes a few days or weeks even months untill the emotions break out.Try not to judge them right now its hard for every single one of your family. Maybe they show their grief differently.

You said you wanted to scream but you couldnt.

Sometimes its not possible to show our feelings in public but you can go swimming and scream under the water as hard as you can,noone will hear it and you can let your emotions out. My father died a year ago and i was devestated and it helped me to talk and let my emotions out. I never screamed and cried so much in my life.

 Dont hesitate to talk here.

My deepest condolences



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Dear art razel,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss and sorrow. Please know that everyone grieves differently. And being Asian I know its hard for people to express themselves or even acknowledge feelings during very sad moments.

I try to express my sadness and was told from my own family, they didn't want hear it. Please know you can write on this forum or look for some additional supports on Facebook. I also found these websites helpful in understanding my feelings:

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

I will be eternally grateful to everyone on this site that allowed me to share my feelings and frustrations. Please know you are not alone. Keep expressing yourself through writing, art, music or joining a support group at church or in the community.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.

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Thank you,


Hi soloataturk, thank you for replying me...

yes, they were more prepared that I was. 

I now recognized the need to scream out even if I do it alone... I actually went to the ocean for that, but seeing the crowds there and happy couples and family, 

I couldn't do it and just came back to a place I live alone.

but next time, I will make a chance and do it, though I don't know how to make it, at the moment.


Thanks, Reader,


I visited that websites those you suggested, and trying to find my place.. 

And being Asian, yes, I feel better relief here that you mentioned that and I honestly have to say, that I am, have been sick and tired of it, after my father departed.

just can't tolerate the culture. When I am shocked by my beloved father's sudden death, who should I be care about? the other people think? how they think, how they see, how they treat... I have absolutely no care on this people, at least that moment, I had no care in this world. And I couldn't express it until even now !

It made me sick.

But I know I can make the situation better if I can express myself in a better way, without shouting or being angry to my left family members.

It's good, even it's too late now, to write my thoughts like this here. 



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