What Keeps You Going

[Scott A]

I lost my wife of 24 years 4+ months ago.  I've been riding an emotional roller coaster ever since.  Days like today are tough because I miss the little things so much...a lazy Sunday together watching tv, going out for lunch, lounging with the pets and thinking about our future together.  Days like today are when I ask myself what's the point of going on?  Why slug through another week of work for what?  I'm curious what keeps you all going?  What makes you want to wake up tomorrow?

[JES]

@Scott A At 4 months I felt much the same as you. I wasnt even able to post on forum until then.  I had a harder time with nights.. I just wanted to go to sleep to forget..to get a moments peace. I really didnt look forward to anything but just kept plugging along because I had no choice.  It will get better...I can say that at over 10 months.  I actually look forward to simple things..mabbe shopping..out to eat... or even just a warm summer day and the sun shining.  Not all the time but more often now.    All I can do is give you hope..time helps ease the pain... we each have our own timetable but I started noticing much better days at 6 months or so.  I tried to stay busy so time would pass quicker...it helped me.  Grief has a way of seeking us out so I still had those down times...but they do lessen in intensity.  Thinking of you and sending you hope for better days. Jeanne

 

 

[Moment2moment]

I am now 15 months out. I had gotten to a plateau where I thought I had a nice job that got me out among people and gave me something to look forward to. I had rescued a senior dog and was finding meaning in that. I felt stronger and like my body was gaining health back.

Then a month before the one year anniversary I lost my therapist provided by hospice, lost my job, lost my rescue dog.

Was once again socially isolated and then fell into feeling so lost and so tired of it all that I felt I just couldn't pull myself out of not giving a damn anymore. 

That was 3 months ago and I am still recovering and not yet there. I got a new job, rescued a new dog, but suddenly feel old and just tired of trying anymore.

Blah, blah, I could go on and on but I will spare you the pity party. Suffice it to say I dont think any 2 of us are the same in this grief process but everything you are describing I currently feel even after 15 months.

At this point I really dont know what I need to help me as time seems to only complicate my grief.

One foot in front of the other is about all I can do here lately.

 

[Scott A]

1 hour ago, JES said:

All I can do is give you hope..time helps ease the pain... we each have our own timetable but I started noticing much better days at 6 months or so.  I tried to stay busy so time would pass quicker...it helped me.  Grief has a way of seeking us out so I still had those down times...but they do lessen in intensity.  Thinking of you and sending you hope for better days. Jeanne

Thank you.  Sometimes hope is all I need, all I cling to.

[Scott A]

33 minutes ago, Moment2moment said:

At this point I really dont know what I need to help me as time seems to only complicate my grief.

One foot in front of the other is about all I can do here lately.

I hear you, I feel much the same

[Billie Rae]

@Scott A
I was doing okay then I took our trip alone
The one big thing that keeps me moving forward is I know he doesn't want me to suffer,I think about what Charlie needed for me and so I try.
Like Moment2moment I am isolated with work my only human contact as my family is far away and I'm an only child
So my goal now is to try and get out and talk to as many people as I can trying to make connections.
The big thing for me is to fight for myself.
Love Billie

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

13 hours ago, Moment2moment said:

I am now 15 months out. I had gotten to a plateau where I thought I had a nice job that got me out among people and gave me something to look forward to. I had rescued a senior dog and was finding meaning in that. I felt stronger and like my body was gaining health back.

Then a month before the one year anniversary I lost my therapist provided by hospice, lost my job, lost my rescue dog.

Was once again socially isolated and then fell into feeling so lost and so tired of it all that I felt I just couldn't pull myself out of not giving a damn anymore. 

That was 3 months ago and I am still recovering and not yet there. I got a new job, rescued a new dog, but suddenly feel old and just tired of trying anymore.

Blah, blah, I could go on and on but I will spare you the pity party. Suffice it to say I dont think any 2 of us are the same in this grief process but everything you are describing I currently feel even after 15 months.

At this point I really dont know what I need to help me as time seems to only complicate my grief.

One foot in front of the other is about all I can do here lately.

 

It's been much the same for me.  It's been 14+ years but my animals kept me going, bits of time with family once in a while, but now my sole companion for the last 10 1/2 years is dying of cancer, set to euthanize 8/16 and I have no idea how I'll get through this.  

I live for whatever good is in the day...I grasp and appreciate it.  Right now my mind is in a fog with anticipatory grief.  People tell me I'm strong and I'll make it through this, I have through everything else.  I don't know how.  Funny how grief can set you back again.

Lily Bell, I hope your new dog gives you reason to go on, it may take a while to build that relationship but it should be forthcoming.  I see you as a step ahead of me in this...I still have to get through loss of my dog before I can think of another rescue...I don't know when/what/how right now.

Scott, give yourself time, this journey is ever evolving.  Be extra patient with yourself, this is the hardest thing we've been through, no matter our timelines, personalities, coping skills...this is the one thing we can relate to, what a struggle it can be!

[Scott A]

Thank you all for the kind words and sharing your own struggles. It helps to know I'm not alone in dealing with this.