Members Billie Rae Posted August 3, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2019 So,my family reunion is this weekend and we used to go together,Charlie loved my travel side,he was my co pilot.I drove down with a ferry trip involved and cried the whole time but with tears and a bit of laughter I remembered each turn we used to argue about and I didn't get lost!When I got to the hotel they gave me Our usual room..it's too big for only meBut I feel him with me telling me to be happyEven a bittersweet happy,I can feel him.I wish he were here.I won a jackpot at the casino 1500 he would have laughed at that Charlie was unlucky at gambling but my winning always paid for our trip.He loved this hotel and room serviceLove to allOne moments peace Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 3, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted August 3, 2019 Billie Rae, I'm glad you got a chance to go back to your and his hotel. I was going to go back to me and George's, but much to my chagrin, they tore it down! A part of me felt really sad, but I guess life marches on, it's just a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted August 3, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2019 Billie Rae, He would be so proud of you. We're proud of you. Goodness, all the memories and conflicting emotions. What you've done takes tremendous strength. I'm very glad you're able to find happiness through your grief. I'm sending you big hugs and love--and woo-hoo for your good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JES Posted August 4, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 4, 2019 @Billie Rae Yes Charlie would be proud and we are proud also. Its a big accomplishment for what you have went through. I understand....its the little things we are able to do now without our co- pilot. Also a step in our being more independent! Congrats on the casino win. Sending love..Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Billie Rae Posted August 5, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 Coming home was terrible,I had to pull over and cry several timesI don't want him to be goneI want to do it over.The ferry ride nearly broke me,we always rode it togetherThe room was our usual suite and it felt empty and I had to force myself to use the hot tubMy family reunion was good,I got to be with some others that lost their spouses.I have to do it again next year,I hope I do better.My soul is in big pain so now to go forward again.I love you allSent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JES Posted August 5, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 @Billie Rae I am sorry it was such a tough trip home. You were very brave to attempt this alone. I did also on my first trip to cottage. It wasnt good. I have since not went alone...it is easier when we have a shoulder to lean on. Even though we are moving forward we still take steps backward at times. And thats to be expected..we are still grieving. Its hard to imagine how we were so capable of doing things at one time and now each little thing we manage to do now, feels like a great accomplishment. You have been such an inspiration to myself and others through this journey. I am hurting for you my dear.....thinking of you and sending love and hugs. Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Billie Rae Posted August 5, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 JesNow this week is like a fog.But I guess I'm just going to have to put myself back into a positive place.I'm going to have to go again next year maybe it will be better.It didn't help that on the way I had to drive past his bosses cabin where Charlie would work in the summer and I would go with him and play on the beach with our dogs(both gone now)we would have coffee on the ferry on the way over and a nice clam lunch on the deck with clams I had just dug.After work We would stop somewhere on the way and have dinner.Those were our golden days.It made this especially hard.Thank you for understanding.Much love BillieSent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 5, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 16 hours ago, Billie Rae said: I have to do it again next year,I hope I do better. I bet they all understood. It took courage and you stepped out of your comfort zone and did it. We're proud of you...I'm sorry it's so hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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