Loss of my Father in Febraury

[Brina]

I lost my father unexpectedly on February 12, 2011. I am struggling everyday it seems. Life growing up in my house was anything but normal - dad abused alcohol and prescription medication. He was a true addict and many time resorted to physical violence to get what he wanted. I left home soon after college to join the military as a way to put some distance between me and the situation at home. Despite my issues with Dad, we were still very close. Most weeks, I spoke with him daily. He really tried to make things better - at least with me. My sibblings hadn't talked to him in years and they live in the same town. Because of my father's passed actions - no one can understand why I am mess and upset. Even my husband's family reminds me that he was "no saint" when I start to talk about my loss- really not helpful at all and actually is hurtful. I am not allowed to grieve. I find myself unable to sleep many nights so I cry and try to put back together my emotional self. I know my father loved me very much - he always told me everytime we spoke. He also wrote notes to me and stuck them in unusual places - like he knew he was not going to live long. I found a simple note on the back of a picture he had on his wall - it said "I love you, Sabrina". He had to have known that the only time I would have seen that note would be after he passed and I would take care of his appartment and belongings. I just miss him....I find myself calling to talk to him sometimes - it is just second nature. I am not sure there is a cure for a broken heart.

[katmaii]

Dear Sabrina,

Losing your dad who loved you dearly is a deep loss. It doesn't matter what he did or didn't do at this point. How can anyone us judge another and say what we would have done in that person's shoes? The point is that he loved you, you loved him and you grieve that loss. It is hard when those around you are unsupportive. Grief is a hard enough job on its own without other's making it harder. Going to a grief support group might help. Writing out my feelings and writing letters can help too. I believe your dad is still with you.

Come here and write..it is nice to have a safe place where no one judges you.

Susan

[ModKonnie]

I lost my father unexpectedly on February 12, 2011. I am struggling everyday it seems. Life growing up in my house was anything but normal - dad abused alcohol and prescription medication. He was a true addict and many time resorted to physical violence to get what he wanted. I left home soon after college to join the military as a way to put some distance between me and the situation at home. Despite my issues with Dad, we were still very close. Most weeks, I spoke with him daily. He really tried to make things better - at least with me. My sibblings hadn't talked to him in years and they live in the same town. Because of my father's passed actions - no one can understand why I am mess and upset. Even my husband's family reminds me that he was "no saint" when I start to talk about my loss- really not helpful at all and actually is hurtful. I am not allowed to grieve. I find myself unable to sleep many nights so I cry and try to put back together my emotional self. I know my father loved me very much - he always told me everytime we spoke. He also wrote notes to me and stuck them in unusual places - like he knew he was not going to live long. I found a simple note on the back of a picture he had on his wall - it said "I love you, Sabrina". He had to have known that the only time I would have seen that note would be after he passed and I would take care of his appartment and belongings. I just miss him....I find myself calling to talk to him sometimes - it is just second nature. I am not sure there is a cure for a broken heart.

Brina,

I am sorry for the loss of your father. It doesn't matter what he did--he was your FATHER, and that is a profound statement when you think about it. And most people's lives are anything but "normal" these days. Every single family has issues, many of them visible, many of them not so visible.

You grieve for your father as long as you need to and in the way you need to. Little by little, you will begin to move forward and heal. For now, cry if you want to when you want to.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[Dani]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. ((((( HUGS)))) no matter what - that's what he was.

[helpinghand101]

Hey Sabrina, sorry for your loss. Take care dear.