Members Brody Posted March 18, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 It is almost 7 months since my co-worker/friend lost his daughter in a tragic car accident. I still feel as sad for him as I did when the tragedy first happened. I had never known anyone to who had lost a child before, and I didn’t know how deeply I would be affected by it. You see it on the news every night about a family suffering such a loss but it is anonymous. You see the pictures and the names, but when it happens to someone you know, like, and respect, you see – no - you feel the anguish. I remember how heartbreaking the wake was – seeing the deep sadness of the family as well as his daughter’s friends - and it touched me as deeply as anything I have ever felt in my life. I have never felt as sad for anyone as I have for my friend and his family, I grieve for their grief, and I cry for their tears. He came back to work and we would (as we still do) talk a couple of times a week for a few minutes. At times he’s open about his feelings and other times he’d say he was doing okay. Even the times he says he’s doing okay, I can still see the sadness in his face and in his demeanor. I don’t pry, so I leave it at that, but I still wish there was something I can do. It’s been an ongoing conflict inside of me – wishing so much I could do something, anything to help. I have posted messages on these forums and have gotten all kinds of advice, words of wisdom, and words of encouragement. I have also gotten “tough love” as people tell me that I can’t fix it for him, I can’t cheer him up, and I can’t take away his pain. I know that, but it still doesn’t stop me from wishing that somehow we can all wake up and it’s just a terrible dream, or wishing that I could give 5 years off my life if he could have his beautiful daughter back. As Christmas approached, my Christmas wish – the one thing I wanted for Charismas - was for he and his family to wake up Christmas morning and for her to be back with them, that her death never happened. I know the world doesn’t work that way, but that was my wish. It’s strange, he and I have known each other a long time, but as we never worked in the same department, we never got beyond the “hey, how are you doing” stage. I regret that, because if we were closer, maybe I could tell him everything that I feel in my heart. He knows I care, but I’m not sure if he knows the depth of my feelings. Maybe it’s for the best that I can’t tell him because if I did, I’d no doubt cry, and he would end up consoling me when he is the one who needs consoling. I know I can’t fix it for him, so I pray for him and his family every day. He and his wife are going through a rough time as they grieve in different ways, so that saddens me as well, and I know I can’t fix that either. I will continue to be there for him, even if it is just for a friendly hello or a bit of small talk. If he ever wants to open up to me as well, I am sure he knows I am always there to listen. As the old song says, “lean on me, and I’ll be your friend.”Brody Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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